#1 most common web copy mistake 90% of businesses make

Here’s one you can really sink your teeth into.

When I first started my personal training business back in ’08 my tagline was The Most Complete Personal Training Program In Toronto.  I dropped this bad boy in the header on my website, on my business cards, and in my brochures.

It was also the theme of my “elevator pitch” if I cornered you face to face.

See I wanted prospects to know I’m not like other trainers.  I wasn’t just going to put you through a workout, I was going to coach you on everything you need to reach your fitness goals; weight training, cardio, nutrition, supplementation, flexibility work.

It was a valid sentiment.

That IS what most people need to get results, after all.

Trouble was, nobody cared how “complete” or “comprehensive” my program was.  They just wanted their clothes to fit better, to not break into a profuse sweat from climbing two flights of stairs, to not feel so lethargic all the time, etc.

All the other stuff I could do was nice.

But it didn’t speak to them (much).

Any time I lobbed across my humdinger of a tagline the most reaction I’d get would be a blank stare, a nod, or an “ok”.

Later, after I’d educated myself a bit more, I went this instead:

“Transform Your Body In 16 Weeks”

At the time I was doing a lot of google ads so I split-tested this one against “most complete”.  “Transform” more than doubled my conversions.  In conversation, it was night and day too.  When I’d hand someone a business card they’d read it and go, “Transform in 16 weeks…ooh, that’s what I need, tell me more about that.”

To my lovely point:

My tale today is a fine illustration of using BENEFITS vs. FEATURES in your marketing.

The ‘completeness’ of my program is a feature.

The transformation of your body (in 16 weeks no less)…that’s a benefit.

And it’s ultimately the benefit that your prospects are after.

Remember…

People buy outcomes.

They don’t care what fancy new laser technique you’re using…they want to know you can get rid of their plantar fasciitis.  It’s not all the different traffic sources you can teach them about…it’s getting more new customers.  They’re not thinking about how many ‘functional training’ courses you’ve taken, they want to lose body fat and feel more confident.

Now they may appreciate those other things later.

But they’re not generally walking around with them in their heads or staring holes in the ceiling at night thinking about them.

In all the website critiques I do this is probably the #1 most common mistake I see.  You can’t glance at the homepage without getting an eyeful of “what’s IN the product” but you’ve got to scroll through endless drop down menus before you find out “what it DOES for you”.

Let that percolate a little.

And if you’d like The Muscle to perform one of my Mini Power Critiques on your website (or your sales letter, or your email campaign) here’s what’s involved:

I spend a couple of hours on your website, and research your market.

Then I send you detailed notes – along with a screen capture video – that outline every last one of my muscular recommendations to help you (note these benefits) improve your web conversions, get more new leads and customers, and boost the ROI you get from any advertising you currently do.  This includes a few suggestions for taglines, headlines, bullets, or other hooks that inevitably occur to me in the process.

And the cost for all this making your life easier and more fun?

Just $275USD.

To make her even more of a peach, here’s what I’ll do:

If you book (and pay for) your website critique before Friday March 6th at 6PM, and you end up hiring me to do a re-write, I’ll credit this amount toward my fee for the rewrite.

In that sense, you will have gotten to drink of the fruit of my knowledge for FREE.

If you’re interested, saddle up and trot along to the enticing link below to explore my calendar and book some time to tell me a little about your business, your current situation, and the item you’d like reviewed:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

We’ll take it from there.

Happy Benefit-Highlighting,

Conor Kelly

P.S. Here’s what one client had to say about my Mini Power Critiques:

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“I recently attended a 3-day ‘copywriting workshop’ with one of the industry leading copywriters… not long after, I had Conor do one of his signature 30-minute copywriting evaluations for one of our clients and I can tell you with absolute certainty that I received more than 10X the amount of value from Conor’s 30-minute video than I did from 3 full days at the copywriting workshop.” -Matt Morse

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Former U.S. Navy nuclear sub commander enjoys record-high engagement

Got this the other day from former U.S. Naval Officer and leadership author Jon S. Rennie:

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“I gave Conor a tough assignment to help kickstart both my business and personal email campaigns. I was stuck and I needed professional help. He hit a home run with both assignments. He took the time and learned as much as he could about my businesses. His focused messaging with punchy copy was exactly what I needed to bring my engagement levels to record highs. I would strongly recommend Conor!”

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Thank you, Sir.

Jon’s an interesting client.

Having both commanded a nuclear sub, and led multiple manufacturing businesses since leaving The Navy, this delightful cocktail of military and corporate experience lets him distill leadership lessons in a unique and powerful way for any business owner, manager, or exec.  And one thing I can say with conviction is that Jon preaches what he practices.

He lives it.

Also, his book I Have The Watch: Becoming A Leader Worth Following is excellent.  I recommend you get on his email list here. (I don’t currently have any projects with Jon, so there’s no real benefit to me in saying this other than perhaps some good will.  I just think his emails are worth following.  Also, he sends one per week so no need to worry about being bombarded).

Jon sought my help to reengage a lukewarm list.

First, a caveat:

If your list hasn’t heard from you in more than a year or two, or ever, be forewarned that if you attempt to reanimate it, out of the dark of night zombie subscribers will emerge, long dead, lurching at you, and feening for their pound of your living flesh.  Not saying it can’t be done.  Just prepare yourself you may need to navigate a graveyard of high spam complaints and angry replies to get there.

Luckily Jon’s case wasn’t anywhere near that serious.

He’s got a great relationship with his subscribers.

We just needed to:

  1. Reintroduce some consistency – a big key to keeping folks engaged with how fast all forms of marketing and content are flying at us these days and how quickly yours can be forgotten.
  2. Shorten his emails a bit and make them punchier, as Jon says.
  3. Use more variety and contrast (story one day, Q&A the next, list of ‘what not to do’ the one after that, etc.)
  4. Tweak subject lines a bit to get attention – topic for another dispatch.
  5. Do something which is the very first thing I do whenever I take over a new list. If you do this correctly, you almost can’t help but engender a bunch of interest, reaction, replies, and appreciation right off the bat.

I’ve done this in many markets now.

It’s almost always the shot between the eyes your readers need to wake them up…in a good way, and a way they’ll thank you for.  And I’ve never seen this discussed anywhere, in any of the multitude of email marketing trainings I possess in my muscular library.

What is this venerable re-engagement “trick”?

Alas, I save such things for clients only.

But there is a silver lining.

I have a spot open for 1 new client next month.  If we jump on a call next week, and we discover we have a fit to work together, not only will I tell you this trick, but I’ll implement it for you.

Heck of a thing, ain’t it?

Take a look at my calendar and book your Free Brainstorm Call here:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

It’s one small step for you, but it could be one giant leap toward keeping the zombies at bay.

Happy Engaging,

Conor Kelly

Use this ancient martial arts secret for writing persuasive copy

True story:

Fourteen years ago I was a bouncer at the largest night club in Toronto.

Because of the sheer numbers of people we dealt with, the club had a reputation for hiring giant men to do security.  Which makes perfect sense; if most of your bouncers look like ‘The Mountain’ from Game of Thrones, you’ve got yourself a compelling deterrent against would-be troublemakers.

Interestingly, our head of security was a relatively small Korean guy called Jung Ho.

At 5’8” and I’d guess 165 pounds, Jung was not very physically imposing…

But he could single-handedly clear out a room of roided-up college football players.

He generally didn’t get involved, but if he did, you understood pretty quickly why he was in charge.

You see, Jung had his own dojo.  He was a master of a martial art called Hapkido.  Hapkido is based on foot work, leverage, pressure points, and uses its opponent’s strength against him.  In this way, Jung overcame his size disadvantage.  In fact, the more you struggled, the more Jung was in control.

He was adept at steering natural forces.

That’s how I view copywriting.

Your prospects already have certain ways of thinking about their problems.

And specific words they’d use to describe them.

It’s the research you do that lets you hone in on and spotlight those key ideas, phrases, and emotions.  As email marketing grand poobah Ben Settle says about the market intel  you dig up: “Realize it’s energy coming at you.”  The trick then, is to reflect back this energy in a way that causes them to perk up, listen, and understand their own problem (and hopefully your solution) so clearly they’re compelled to do something about it.

When they do, the sales dynamic is entirely different.

You’re in the driver’s seat, baby.

They’re putty in your hands, like drunk sophomores are to Jung Ho.

You can have great punches, kicks, or throws (i.e. great at what you do), but as long as you’re the aggressor (out there “pitching”, bleh), you’re working too hard, and you’re not seeing enough new greenbacks marching through the door each month.

If you’d like my help with becoming the black belt that skillfully parries market demand into new prospects or customers, you may enter The Muscle’s dojo by requesting your Free Brainstorm Call here:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

Spot open for only 1 new client only this month – so if you’re interested, make haste.

Until then…

Happy Redirecting,

Conor Kelly