Weird St. Patrick’s Day

This is weird.

As we get set to lather on the green face paint, imbibe all things green, and dance a wee jig in honor of the great Patricius…here are a few strange St. Paddy’s Day facts:

*The original colour worn by Patrick and to mark St. Patrick’s Day…was blue.  It became green the more the party went global – ostensibly due to the Emerald Isle’s greenness, shamrocks, leprechauns, every Irish national sporting uniform ever, and the green in the Irish flag.

*Patrick’s real name was Maewyn.

Very Lord of The Rings.

*Herpetologists – i.e. folks who study reptiles agree that there probably never were snakes in Ireland for Patrick to drive out.  Too cold.  So the snakes of legend are thought to be metaphorical.  At least they weren’t the ironic kind – those smug bastards.

*Once upon a time, in the ol’ U.S. of A. the Irish were considered a migrant crisis.

Good one to remember.

As they poured in to the states on the Eastern seaboard, they were discriminated against harshly.  Now they’re a force in American culture and politics.

#Truth

*The world’s shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade takes place in Hot Springs, Arkansas and is just 98-feet (or 49 leprechauns) long.

Crucially, this allows for more pub time.

*In the town of O’Neill, Nebraska (named for its Irish founder) residents wear green not only on St. Patrick’s, but on the 17th of every month.  That’s dedication.

*On the tiny Caribbean island of Montserrat, St. Paddy’s Day is a national holiday.  Montserrat boasts a rich Irish and African heritage.

Like me.

(The Conz began in The Ivory Coast.)

*Finally, here’s a clip of one of my fave Conor Kelly productions.  It’s a workout routine I shot while vacationing in Ireland, with just about the most scenic backdrops of any workout video I ever done seen:

Olivia was so inspired she insisted I film her very first Yoga instructional video…

Well that’s all for the weird and the wonderful of the day.

In the words of my ‘bredren’…

May love and laughter light your days

And warm your heart and home.

May good and faithful friends be yours

Wherever you may roam.

May peace and plenty bless your world

With joy that long endures

May all life’s passing seasons

Bring the best to you and yours

Happy St. Patrick’s Day,

Conor Kelly

ENCORE: 5 Anti-Tips For Your Best Summer Body

Just 12 weeks ’til summer.

Perfect time to start thinking about your plan “swimsuit readiness” plan.

I’ll be real, the following tips aren’t likely to help you with any of that.

BUT…I found this in the archives and it made me chuckle.

Should be worth at least a smile to you.

Enjoy!

-Conor

***

I used to write a lot of lists.

‘6 tips for x…’

‘4 ways to do y…’

It was the format for several of my most popular emails.

Problem is I’m easily bored.  Lists are overdone.

Anyway, the notion of anti-tips jolted my cerebral cortex into bringing forth what follows.

Here’s how it doth work:  do the exact opposite of what I recommend here, and you’ll b-line it straight for a lean summer body with a coke and a smile.  Minus the coke.

I think you get the idea.

Let’s begin…

1. Eat as much of it as you want as long as it’s healthy.  Healthy food is high in nutrients when compared with fast-food, for example.  Ever noticed how you can railroad empty calories at a mighty clip? That’s because they don’t contain any real nutrition, so you’re body barely registers any satiety.

Non-processed, organic, high-fiber foods are so nutrient-dense that your body thrives on much lower intake levels.  This mirrors how sparse food was when we evolved the ability to derive energy from plants and animal flesh.

But if some is good, more is better…right?

Besides, the plump lady behind the lunch counter says I can eat as much quinoa salad as I want because it’s healthy – so it MUST be true.

2. Try a RE-tox diet.  You want to enjoy the fine weather and the fresh air.  The last thing you need is a bunch of washroom breaks slowing you down.  Keep your water consumption to a minimum, and avoid anything high in fiber.  Also, you might like the binding properties of copious amounts of cheese.

Keep that colon on lockdown until the fall.

3. Use a pro-inflammatory approach.  One thing you’d really hate is if your joint pain lessened to the point of inspiring you to be more active.  Really cuts into your investment of sunbathing time.  Just remember the four food groups: pizza, ice cream, beer, and cigarettes.  In fact, eat as much sugar as possible – raw, off a spoon, if need be.

The average Canadian eats 68 kilos of sugar per year.

Ask yourself, are you getting behind?

4. Avoid heavy weights.  God forbid you should build any muscle that might turn your metabolism into a blast-furnace for burning calories.  Then you’d lose your excuse for all that healthy food in #1.  Plus everyone knows that heaps of long, slow walking is how you lose weight.

5. Sleep less, and ‘freak out’ more.  Stress is good for you.  Ever heard of ‘fight or flight’?  Burns fat.  Burns muscle too, and runs your organs on overdrive, but heck, nobody’s perfect.  To really accentuate the effect, fly into a rage at every opportunity (I mean really lose your s**t) and load your system with as much caffeine as possible.

Sleep only when desperate.

Healthy sleeping patterns of seven or more hours per night render #’s 1, 3, and 4 less effective.

Now if your brain hurts from twisting my hints to figure out what I really mean, you’re either taking #5 literally, or you’ll benefit from the un-reversed truths in my 16-Week Transformation Program. 

Call (416) 826-4844 to request your complimentary personal training consultation, and discover the path to your best body – in all seasons.

Happy Freaking Out,

Conor Kelly

Fitness Oscar Winners (Best Food, Best Exercise…)

Well I’m no Lady Gaga…

And I don’t have a Green Book.

But I do have many books.

In one of them I read you might like an email I wrote six years ago with my votes for the best of the best in fitness.

This has yet to be proven though, so let’s test my hypothesis…

*****************************

The Oscars are today, and even though I’m allergic to award shows, I do love to dish out recognition…

…When it’s deserved.

So I’ll start with the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Have you heard of this guy?

Fauja Sing, the world’s oldest marathoner, is retiring at the age of, get this, 101!

He’s completed eight marathons since 2000.  I’d say that pretty much eliminates any excuse from anyone aged less than, say, a hundred?

Best Exercise goes to ‘the king of exercises’, the barbell squat. There’s not an inch of your body that’s not fully engaged in a properly executed squat.  And because you’re moving your body through space, it invokes a fear factor that juices up the neuro-muscular activation, leading to faster results.

Dr. Fat Loss says ‘chain yourself to the squat rack and call me in the morning’.

Best Supporting Exercise goes to the plank, a lifesaver for me since I injured a disc in my low back while training for my school bus pull in Dundas Square, back in ’09.

It’ll turn your core into a solid brick wall, ensuring you have the support you need to let a Jeep drive over you (should that be how you choose to utilize your new found powers).

Nevertheless, a pillar-like core is useful in any type of motion or lifting.

Best Food goes to…

…Well, anything that has one ingredient only.

An apple is its own ingredient, a tomato is its own ingredient, organic, free-run eggs are their own ingredients.

See what I’m getting at?

Generally speaking, the longer the list of ingredients, the more likely it’s hurting your health, and making you fat. Whole foods, on the hand, are not trying to be anything, they’re just being themselves. And I respect that.

Best Supporting Food goes to my Cinch shakes and bars.

They fill the gaps between meals, taste delicious, fuel my energy, and they’re almost impossibly low glycemic index, which keeps my body in the fat-burning zone.

I’m quite happy about that.

Hit ‘reply’ if you’d like me to send you a sample.

Best Cheat FoodCheesecake.

Just ’cause.

Damn I love cheesecake.

Best Kids Song…’The Animal Sounds Song’. Granted this has nothing to do with fitness, it’s just cute how, at 3.5 months, Olivia’s face lights up whenever we play it. How often is that? Let’s just say we’ve contributed our quota of the 62 million views it’s got YouTube.

Finally, what awards show would complete without red carpet fashions?

In theory, Jeff and I are shoe-ins for Best Dressed, ’cause that’s just how we roll. But in reality, we can’t hold a candle to Raya on her best day.

(Note to self: make sure Raya reads this.)

Plug these winners into your day to day routine.

Who knows, by next year you could be nominated for Best Transformation.

To Your Success,

Conor Kelly

ConorKelly.com

Mission 2045: Immortality

“I’ll tell you a secret…something they don’t teach you in your temple.  The Gods envy us.  They envy us because we’re mortal.  Because any moment might be our last, everything’s more beautiful.” –Achilles, to a captive Briseis in Troy

Author Ray Kurzweil, in his best-selling 2006 book The Singularity Is Near, predicted that thanks to advances in genetics, nanotechnology (such as tiny robots that will repair our cells from the inside), and artificial intelligence, anyone who makes it to 2045 will basically live forever.

The race is on.

There is of course the issue of whether or not we should want to live forever.

Hence my lovely, thought-provoking quote today.

Questions, questions…

***

In other longevity news, according to the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency a 90-year-old American cyclist was stripped of his medal for testing positive for a banned substance.

That’s not a typo.

The man is 90 years old.

Not only is he able to get on a bike at his age…he’s still racing.

I don’t care what he’s on, unless his name is Robocop, let the guy keep his medal.

Who’s with me?

***

Our high-test nonagenarian ain’t got nothing on this guy:

French cyclist Robert Marchand announced he’s hanging up his bicycle shorts at a seasoned 106 years of age.

(That’s a lot of seasons.)

Last year, he broke the world record in the 105+ age category (a category that had to be created for him) by riding over 22KM in one hour:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UHw6MTbY3U

He’s retiring from record attempts, but says he’ll keep peddling his stationary bike at home.

Well, there you have it.

Thought I’d lay down a little inspiration for the Drive To 2045.

Effective, n’est ce pas?

Live Long & Prosper,

Conor Kelly

P.S.  Are you on LinkedIN?  If we’re not already contacts, please send me an invitation to connect here:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/conorkelly/

My new year’s resolution (sort of)

Ok, so The Conz don’t make resolutions.

But one thing I’d like to start doing more of again is going for long walks.

I walk a lot in general.

I mean the ones of the forty-minutes-or-longer variety.

I’ve got so much to do it’s easy to talk myself out of it.  And with it being winter…well, that just whips up the rationalization hamster wheel even more.  I admit I was shamed into lacing up my walking boots at least once last winter when I heard my 83-year-old clients were still getting their daily 90-minute ‘constitutional’ despite the very-sub-zero temperatures.

All that aside, I’ve found few things better for my wellbeing.

I don’t count steps.  There’s no target mileage.  I just walk.  And I watch.  I stare at things off in the distance.  I let my body tell me if I should keep going or make for home.  Another point: no treadmills allowed on this particular journey.  You see, we Homo sapiens have a primal need to be outside…and most of us city-dwelling folk don’t do it nearly enough.

By the way, I’ve found this to be a great way to come up with content – little creativity tip for ya.

Some of my best emails have been ‘direct downloads’ I channeled during a walk, and that I couldn’t type out fast enough once I sat back down at my keyboard.  I also get ideas for what to do.  Solutions to problems or puzzles I’ve been struggling with often occur to me in the same fashion.

Many great thinkers knew this little secret.  Einstein’s daily walk was sacred to him.  Darwin did three 45-minute walks per day.

What’s the point of such ramblings?

I invite you to join me in boosting the step count, if you’re not already.

It doesn’t have to be every day.

We can aim for two or three days a week.

Just do this consistently and you’ll be amazed at what happens.

Then, write me back and share your story.

I’ll be genuinely curious.

See you out there,

Conor Kelly

P.S. In my next email marketing tip (Tuesday) I reveal the #1 thing you must do in every email if you want to make sales.  Get this one thing right, and you can do pretty much do everything else wrong and still get business.

Not too late to subscribe:

Go here to subscribe to my email marketing tips.

 

A better brain when you bite this bitter bean

Say my title six times in a row, fast.

I had fun with that one.

Why stop there?

That is not all.

I shall go full nerd, and to Dr. Seuss call…

As for the brain benefits, they’re a result of THIS bitter bean.

Click to allow images and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

Chocolate

This bitter bean is chocolate.  My favorite (pictured) much too dark.

At 100% cacao its taste is more like chewing to chew bark.

Its benefits are many, a food fit for kings and queens.

We now turn our tale to the brain and amyloid precursor proteins.

(Ol’ Seuss never had to rime that one.)

“Explain,” you say?

I will not delay:

Amyloid precursor proteins are agents of cell repair, abundant in the brain.  After the age of 25, bits of these proteins break away and form plaque buildup in nerve axons and the synapses between cells, impeding the flow of neurochemicals much like plaque in the arteries impedes blood flow.

Over time, as this plaque accumulates, it gunks up the machinery and leads to a loss in cognition and memory – even Alzheimer’s.

Polyphenols, found in chocolate (black tea is another source) have been shown to prevent this plaque from forming.  The best chocolate is organic, of course.  It doesn’t have to be 100% cacao like my Gratitude above, but the higher the better.

I recommend two squares a day of the highest percentage you still enjoy.

There you have it.

A simple brain tip – sussed out and Seuss-ed out.

Don’t forget…

When biting a bitter bean has a better brain as a benefit…

That benefit is a boon to any bright, bold believer that bites this bitter bean.

: )

Happy Chocolate Eating,

Conor Kelly

P.S.  Find out how I get my clients 3x-10x their email marketing results using simple, fun emails like this one.  Join the many that have already jumped and subscribe to my NEW newsletter with tips on how to make more sales from email (click the link below and you’ll automatically be added):

=>Click here to get The Conz’ email marketing tips.

Hockey hall-of-famer proves The Conz’ wily ways

I’m not gonna say I told you so…

Between clients the other day I decided to grab a quick sesh in the Four Seasons gym.

And who was beside me as I crushed a pec workout?

None other than legendary defenseman Scott Stevens.  If you don’t know, Scott used to be the captain of the New Jersey Devils.  He’s a multiple Stanley Cup winner, and a Conn Smythe Trophy recipient as MVP of the Stanley Cup finals.

He was in town for a Hall of Fame dinner.

Known for his physical style of play, at one time he held the record for both # of games played by a defenseman, and number of penalty minutes by a hall-of-famer.

So I hadz to know…

“Hey Scott, how’s your body these days?  Banged up?”

(I did notice he looks great, by the way.  Ripped.)

He said, “no all good, thankfully.”

Then he went on to explain that he attributes much of this to his #1 supplement: omega 3 fatty acids.  Apparently, he’s been taking them religiously for 20 years and the ‘ol joints are muy bueno.

Hmm.

Sounds familiar.

Where have I heard this before?

Oh right.

May 2007: I create my general nutrition guidelines which I give to every new client.  Item # 6 (of only 6) is ‘supplement with essential fatty acids’.

June 2009: The Conz tells a reporter from The Toronto Sun that essential fatty acids are my most recommended supplement.

October 2015: I write that if I was stranded on a deserted island, and I could have one supplement, it’s me omegas:

Click here to visit the article.

Must I go on?

Full disclosure…

I don’t think this supplement is the ONLY reason Scott’s still feeling good these days (he’s 54).  He’s obviously kept up much of the discipline he had as a pro athlete.

But it’s a factor.

Quash inflammation, release fat, boost immunity, lubricate joints, feed brain cell membranes, improve skin, hair and nails — all potential upsides of this badass nutrient.  Scientists estimate we consumed about 7,000mg of omega 3’s per day in our ancient diet, yet today the average is less than a fifth of that.

Of course it’s only one piece of the puzzle.

Get ye the rest here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

Find out what other secrets I teach, that the venerable Mr. Stevens also swears by.

Happy Omega 3-ing,

Conor Kelly
Hall Of Fame Personal Trainer