My new year’s resolution (sort of)

Ok, so The Conz don’t make resolutions.

But one thing I’d like to start doing more of again is going for long walks.

I walk a lot in general.

I mean the ones of the forty-minutes-or-longer variety.

I’ve got so much to do it’s easy to talk myself out of it.  And with it being winter…well, that just whips up the rationalization hamster wheel even more.  I admit I was shamed into lacing up my walking boots at least once last winter when I heard my 83-year-old clients were still getting their daily 90-minute ‘constitutional’ despite the very-sub-zero temperatures.

All that aside, I’ve found few things better for my wellbeing.

I don’t count steps.  There’s no target mileage.  I just walk.  And I watch.  I stare at things off in the distance.  I let my body tell me if I should keep going or make for home.  Another point: no treadmills allowed on this particular journey.  You see, we Homo sapiens have a primal need to be outside…and most of us city-dwelling folk don’t do it nearly enough.

By the way, I’ve found this to be a great way to come up with content – little creativity tip for ya.

Some of my best emails have been ‘direct downloads’ I channeled during a walk, and that I couldn’t type out fast enough once I sat back down at my keyboard.  I also get ideas for what to do.  Solutions to problems or puzzles I’ve been struggling with often occur to me in the same fashion.

Many great thinkers knew this little secret.  Einstein’s daily walk was sacred to him.  Darwin did three 45-minute walks per day.

What’s the point of such ramblings?

I invite you to join me in boosting the step count, if you’re not already.

It doesn’t have to be every day.

We can aim for two or three days a week.

Just do this consistently and you’ll be amazed at what happens.

Then, write me back and share your story.

I’ll be genuinely curious.

See you out there,

Conor Kelly

P.S. In my next email marketing tip (Tuesday) I reveal the #1 thing you must do in every email if you want to make sales.  Get this one thing right, and you can do pretty much do everything else wrong and still get business.

Not too late to subscribe:

Go here to subscribe to my email marketing tips.

 

Could this be the most overlooked success skill?

I’ve been ruminating on the Arnold Schwarzenegger clip I shared earlier this week.

(I link to it below.)

All the books, audios, and courses I’ve ingested have more or less turned my brain into a search bar for self-help content.  Re: Arnie’s comment on it being ok to fail, the software of my memory turned up this little ditty…

I recall someone saying that the most remarkable thing about Fred Smith, the founder of FedEx, was his ability to laugh at failure.

Whenever one of their initiatives flopped, and many did, he’d get a wry smile on his face, shake his head and go “wow that really didn’t work.”

Then, he’d simply say “what next?”

If I was to rewind to when I started Evolution Fitness and catalog for you all the things we tried, it would fill a few journals (and indeed it does – I kept all my notes from that period).  Looking back, most of them didn’t work.  A few did.

It’s why we even had a business at all.

During my brief stint in stand-up comedy, I wrote pages full of set ups and punchlines.  I quickly realized about 10% of it was funny.  The catch is the only way to know which 10% to keep is to stand in front of people and let 90% of your stuff bomb.  Do that ten times and you wind up with five minutes of material that will do reasonably well with most audiences.

Call it accelerated failing.

The interesting thing is, in either case it never occurred to me those failures could be reasons to stop.  I just figured that was the process.  Sounds like Fred Smith had the same idea.

In fact, I’ll go you one further…

The more I fail, the smarter I get.

Besides, if that’s your approach, and every attempt results in either a win or a lesson…

Do we ever truly fail?

Here’s that video again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNpEFf0I60M

Happy Failing,

Conor Kelly

P.S. Go here:

=>How I Get My Clients 3x-10x Their Email Marketing Results.

ENCORE: The TRUTH About Commitment

Tips and secrets to double your sales with email:

Go here to subscribe to Conor’s email marketing tips.

***
Happy New Year!

The message below is from January 2017.  It got more happy replies than almost any other email I’ve sent.

I thought you might like to read or re-read it.

And in the P.S. I’ve included more on this idea from a fella you might recognize…

Best Wishes for a Happy, Healthy, and Successful 2019.

***

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson

With REAL commitment, there’s no debate.

There’s no longer equal opportunity for DO or DO NOT.

The decision’s been made.

(The root of the word “decide” is the latin decidere.  It literally means to kill any alternatives.)

All that remains is the steady forward march of implementation.

That’s why commitment is the ultimate ZEN.  It silences the chorus of opposition, and clears the path for unobstructed and pointed action.  It’s like water running downhill; it effortlessly curves to the shape of the terrain.

I’ve experienced real commitment only a few times.

Not because it’s hard.

Because it’s so easy it scares me.

There’s so much power in it, so much real-ness to our potential that I deign to use it only sparingly.

But I wonder sometimes where my life would be if I wasn’t afraid.

What if every decision was a FINAL decision?

Sure, you could re-evaluate long-term commitments to determine if they still serve…or make short-term commitments, and periodically re-commit…but what if, for the most part, that was that?  What if, in the Viking warrior tradition, you could burn the ships as soon as you land in new and unconquered territory? Could you gaze up the beach and know that beyond it are only two possibilities – victory or death?

All great gut check questions I’ve been asking myself as I hang up my calendar for another year.

As human beings, we’re capable of so much, yet we squander our powers.

For what?

Security?

It’s an illusion…a mere shadow of Mother Nature’s attempt to protect her children from an unpredictable ecosystem.  Safeguards placed into our brains by DNA.

We are no longer children.  We are the part of nature that is coming to know itself, and we stand face to face with the unboundedness of our existence.

We are free…

Anything is game.  There is NO certainty.  Trust me; you don’t need it anyway.  NOW is the time to find your center and live from that place.  Not fear, but opportunity.  Not what anyone says (much less what the media says), but what inspires you…

The future belongs to those who create it.

Let’s make it good.

Happy Committing,

Conor Kelly

P.S. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNpEFf0I60M

Confidence secrets of a 6-time Mr. Olympia

Today, inspiration from an unlikely place…

The sport of professional bodybuilding.

When I first became interested in it, the guy at the top was 6-time Mr. Olympia Dorian Yates.  Widely credited with ushering in the ‘mass monster’ era of bodybuilding, Dorian brought to the stage a combination of dense muscle and conditioning (which means little-to-no fat or water retention under the skin, creating a peeled, anatomy chart look) that had never been seen before.

I recently came across a great interview with Dorian on YouTube.

In the interview, he’s asked about 8-time Mr. Olympia Lee Haney.  At the time Dorian was coming up in the sport, Lee Haney had a lock on the title.  A living legend, he was arguably the greatest Mr. Olympia ever.

In a very telling segment, Dorian discusses the mental shifts that needed happen in order for him to believe he could unseat the ‘unbeatable’ Haney, a man he considered his idol.

The first was to give up this idol-worship.

He took this opportunity when he won his first big pro show.  He started asking himself, “why not?”  “Why couldn’t I beat him”?  In any achievement, that’s step one.  You see, often we want things for our lives – big things – and we get hung up on the question of *how*.  But this only makes those big things seem bigger.

What you should ask yourself instead is *why not*?

Admitting, as a bare minimum, that your goal is possible releases the big R – Resistance – and frees you to entertain new *how’s* you didn’t previously see.

The second confidence shift was a by-product of his preparation.

In Dorian’s words:

One thing I can guarantee is he does not train as hard as me.  He does not dedicate himself as much as me.  How do I know that?  Because it’s not possible.  It’s not possible to be training harder, or more consistently, or more dedicated than me, because I couldn’t give a single ounce more to any aspect of this thing that I’m doing.  So that makes me feel pretty powerful and pretty confident.  Because I know other people are slacking – sometimes.

Here’s what I love about this:

It’s 100% PROCESS FOCUSED.

As counter-intuitive as it may seem, the best way to reach your goals is to not have goals – at least not ones that are tied to outcomes.  Have an intention, or a vision of where you want to go.  Then, make your goals about things you can control.

You have zero control over what happens.

But you have at least some control over what you DO.

In 2006, when I finally ditched the fat suit I’d donned for ten years, losing over 30 pounds in four months, I didn’t once look in the mirror during that time.

Instead, I put my head down, attacked the process, and didn’t come up for air until four months later.

I made it my sole preoccupation to do everything I possibly could, training and diet-wise, and to leave no T uncrossed and no I un-dotted.

And boy did it work.

By the time I emerged from this deep dive into my plan I didn’t look like the same person.  And in only four months.  You could have stuck me on a conveyor belt that turns out lean bodies, if there was such a thing, and the effect would have been much the same.

I’m not saying what you want will happen in four months.  Whatever transformation you seek could take 6 months…two years.  Forget about the timeline.  Again, it’s counter-intuitive, but renouncing your attachment to outcomes often speeds up the result.

Instead, put your blinders on, and dominate your path.

This is not about perfection.

It’s about focus.

Simply give no time, attention, or energy to anything other than doing the best you can do – on the things you can control – at any given moment.  Do this moment well…and then the next…and then the next…things will turn out fine.

There is PEACE in the process.

There is POWER in the process.

YOUR CONFIDENCE is in the process.

Embrace it.

Dorian Yates never did beat Lee Haney.  He placed second to him in 1991.  Then, Haney retired.  Would he have beaten him?  We’ll never know.  But it was Dorian’s willingness to ask *why not* and his utterly ruthless dedication to the process that delivered him his own lock on the title for six years – and legendary status in the sport he loves.

Happy Process-Focusing,

Conor Kelly

P.S. You can check out Dorian Yates comments on Lee Haney here (very revealing):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVYIcigwPok

P.P.S .  According to McKinsey, you are 40x more likely to get a client with email than with social media.  For tips on how to get more clients with email, click here.

Is it your turn for a BREAKTHROUGH?

I remember a time when the weight loss record for my 16 week program stood at 43 pounds.

Along came Andrew S.

At 6’1″, Andrew tipped the scales at a hefty 290.

Two things I appreciated about this young man:

(1) He was referred by another client who’d had exceptional results, so his belief level was high.

(2) He was motivated as hell.

I’d picked up on the fact he was competitive and started planting some seeds about the record.

Soon I was pretty much egging him on.

Four months later, in the blink of an eye, he was down 45 pounds and had set the new marker.

Put the record aside for a moment.  Can you imagine what that must have felt like?  The lightness…the energy…the no-more-naps-after-lunch mental clarity…still nothing more than gravy on top of the simple exhilaration of reaching a dearly held personal goal.

Especially if it’s eluded you until now.

It brings me back to my own transformation in the spring of ’06 when I lost 35 pounds in the same time frame.

Very few things can compare to that feeling.

Expressions like ‘on top of the world’ are apt but don’t do it justice.

It feels like the air you breathe is different.

My personal belief is you’re experiencing the self-appreciation that occurs when what your inner being knows to be true about you (that you’re resourceful beyond words, powerful, a CREATOR) lines up with your a life condition you’ve created.

It’s the way we were MEANT TO BE.

If what I’ve just said sounds good to you in any way, you are being called to your own transformation.

The wiser (and not limited) part of you is rushing forth.

Don’t push it back down inside.

Don’t give into fear.

TAKE ACTION.

NOW.

Call or text me at (416) 826-4844 or simply reply to this email for your complimentary personal training consultation.

In truth, it doesn’t matter whether you contact me or not.

The point is take the chains off.

Be BOLD.

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.” – Goethe

Your breakthrough is calling…

Will you answer?

Happy Transforming,

Conor Kelly

The Tiger Woods story that inspires cold showers

I’m almost 100% certain this post’s content isn’t going to be about what my subject line made you think it is.

Let’s check back later and see if I’m right…

Down to last four holes at the 2001 Masters (which Tiger Woods would go on to win, completing the slam of holding all four major titles at once), some tool snapped a camera shudder at the top of his backswing.

Amazingly, Tiger pulled up mid swing.

But that wasn’t the best part.

After shooting the guy a 2-second death stare, he took a couple of breaths, then stepped up and crushed it 300+ yards straight down the middle.

Those stakes.

That pressure.

What do you want to bet most mere mortals would have taken the bait, and let the whole thing upend their concentration?

In this instance, and many others, Tiger was able to use what Stephen Covey calls “the pause button”.

Most of us are very Pavlovian in our responses (Pavlov was famous for training dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell by associating that sound with chow time).

We’re conditioned to react to things in our environment.

Phone rings, we pick it up.

Stephen Covey’s pause button is about using the ‘space’ between stimulus and response to proactively choose our responses rather than merely reacting to things.

In our story today, the phone was ringing, but Tiger wasn’t home.

(He was too busy becoming a legend.)

What’s so useful about this particular skill?

Instead of being at the mercy of whatever direction the wind blows, or whipped around on a stormy sea of emotions, you can learn to be poised, clear-headed, and yes happy a high percentage of the time.

What could be better?

This is something I aspire to.

In fact, I deliberately train non-reactivity.

One of the ways you can do this is by means of physical challenges.

Basking in cold water is an example.  The way I see it, if you can allow cold water to rain on your bare skin for up to two minutes while staying relaxed and controlling your breathing (I’ve even started singing when I do this) then you’ve seeded the feeling on non-reactivity into your nervous system.

Give it a whirl.

At the end of your morning shower, turn the water temp as cold as possible.  Stay relaxed.  Try 30 seconds at first and work your way up.

(This has other health benefits, btw.  Improves circulation, reduces inflammation, boosts immunity and promotes hormonal health.)

Ok, one last thing before I go.

The #1 way to foster non-reactivity is by eating well, working out, and cleaning up your sleeping patterns.

If only I had a nickel for every time a client has commented on how all the little things that used to bother them now roll off their back.

(Ok so it wouldn’t be that much…but I’d have enough for an espresso…)

Get your state under control here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

That does it for today.

All about that sweet, sweet ability to own your own emotional state.

Well?

What kind of story did you think this was gonna be?

😉

Happy Non-Reacting,

Conor Kelly

#1 Success KILLER and how to beat it

“In the words of the ancients, one should make his decisions within the space of seven breaths.  It is matter of being determined and having the spirit to break right through to the other side.” – Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai

Indecision.

Or better yet, a lack of decisiveness.

It’s killed more good ideas and more dreams than illness, misfortune and laziness combined.

Here’s my take on how to grab indecision by the jugular so you can claim your rightful, exalted destiny in this world:

Learn to put less weight on your decisions.

You see there’s a cognitive bias known as the “one-page bias.”

Using this filter, we tend give too much significance to the things that happen in a single day, and not enough significance to what happens over a year, or a decade.  In other words, we’re making *little* things count more than they should.

If for no other reason than your peace of mind, know this…

One day is one day.

It’s a page, in a chapter, in a section, in the book that is your life.

Your story.

What happens on that page generally matters much less than you think it does, you’re just not in the habit of looking at it that way.

And more…

The truth is, ultimately, NOTHING matters.

Fifty thousand years from now the sun will have cooled, and the earth will be nothing more than a big ball of ice.

That’s a fact.

It’ll be like we never existed.

I’m not trying to be nihilistic or depressing.

Things DO matter in their own time and place.

However, learning to take a broad perspective helps you to not go blowing sh*t all out of proportion.  It’s liberating.  It frees you to TAKE ACTION because you aren’t unevenly weighing the consequences of every choice.  You’ll be more relaxed, resourceful and positive, which helps you make better choices, too.

I’m all for thoughtful consideration.

What I’d spare you is the ‘paralysis by analysis’ that held me back for so long.

Remember, today’s only ONE PAGE OF YOUR LIFE.

The story will go on.

You’ll have the chance to write a new chapter.

Starting TODAY, no more indecision, ok?

Tell yourself, “ultimately, nothing matters.”

And go for it.

At some level you know what to do, you’re just not letting yourself do it.

For many of my success stories, simply making the decision to call me was the first step in a journey that changed their life.

Here’s your chance to practice being more decisive:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

Did you pass the first test?

Good…good.

Now go make it a great day.

Happy Deciding,

Conor Kelly