A little known Harvey Specter success secret

I’ve recently taken to watching old episodes of Suits.

Why?

Two words: Harvey Specter.

If you haven’t seen the show, it’s set in the high stakes world of corporate law with its big dollar deals, cut-throat maneuvers, and boardroom-sized egos.

Harvey Specter is the hot-shot “closer” with a reputation for winning.

He may be fictional, but a fine study of success traits doth Mr. Specter make.

Unapologetic in his ambition, Harvey is an incurable action-taker.  He expects to win, but doesn’t get wound up when things (temporarily) don’t go his way.  He’s got a rock solid belief in his own abilities, and regularly bets LARGE on himself.

In one episode, he makes senior partner in the firm.

There’s a board meeting to announce his promotion.

In front of the board, Jessica, the firm’s boss, pranks Harvey by making him think the equity buy-in for senior partners (a cool half a mil) is payable right away.

Harvey goes white and says: “I have to pay the whole amount now??”

Turns out he’s just playing along.

Always the smooth operator, he later hands Jessica a cheque.

She goes: “You’ve had the money since you knew about the promotion?”

“I’ve had it since I first set my eye on becoming partner,” he replies with a smirk.

You go, Harv.

That’s called being all in, my friend.

As soon as you know you want something, act NOW as though it will happen and plan accordingly.

When’s the last time you bet on yourself like that?

The fitness equivalent might be committing to four to six months of a personal training program by paying in full on the first day.

Many clients have justified their investment to me in these terms.  Most find it hard to back out once all their chips are the table.

Now here’s the not-so-dirty little secret…

You don’t need Harvey’s confidence in order to do this.

In fact, I guarantee if you’ll ignore your doubts, and simply let yourself be willing to make that bet, your confidence will climb about ten notches, right then and there.

Author Jerry Sternin once said: “it’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting.”

(That’s worth re-reading.)

So borrow a page from the great Harvey Specter’s script.

Take massive action.

Bet on yourself.

Keep moving forward.

Just don’t be surprised when this works.

If you liked this, you’re gonna love my 30 Day Transformation email series.

It’s one tip a day (featuring some of my most popular emails from the last six years) to help you be the best possible version of yourself.  It also includes a rare digital copy of my book chapter on The #1 Key To Transformation.

And it’s yours with my compliments.

You can subscribe here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

I’m excited.

It’s gym time, then taking Olivia to the hairdresser.

Happy Betting,

Conor Kelly

 

Give me your very best

First things first, one of my fave motivational vids…

Take a minute and watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUKoKQlEC4

Now, consider this…

It’s what you DO that your mind registers.

That’s what determines how you feel about that wonderful, mysterious and powerful thing called YOU.

Your self-image is the #1 thing that impacts how successful you are in any goal.

And your self-image mirrors your ACTIONS.

When you first wake up in the morning, how do you move?  Do you take small steps with your head down?  What does the expression on your face say?

Pay attention to this, then do me a solid and try this little exercise:

1.  Make your first strides out of bed long and purposeful.  Throw your shoulders back and lift your head.  Relax your face (there’s a lot of brain tissue dedicated to sensing the face, so any scrunching or tightening contributes greatly to your overall felt sense of tension).  Try to embody this dominant, relaxed posture as you go about your morning routine.

2.  When you walk out the door, strut like you mean it.  Imagine the Bee Gees Stayin’ Alive is your soundtrack.  Hell, you think Barry Gibb is singing about you.

“You can tell by the way I use my walk…

Damn right you can.

This is what being a badass looks like.

3.  The first time you cross a busy intersection, say to yourself as you cross, “God I’m spectacular.”  This’ll probably make you laugh, and that’s good.  You’ll look and feel like you don’t have a care in the world.

Do these three steps with total commitment, and I defy you to not have good things happen to you today.

Remember, no one else in the world is like you.

That makes you special.

You’re here for a reason.

One out of 100 million sperm.

Own it.

Later, hot stuff….

Conor Kelly

 

 

Canine heroes, Richard Gere

The saddest movie I ever saw was Hachi: A Dog’s Tale.

In the movie, Richard Gere portrays a dog owner that has a special connection with a stray dog he takes into his home.

A big, beautiful Husky, Hachiko immediately captures the man’s heart with his playful and loving nature.  The very next day, Hachi manages to escape the fenced back yard, so he can accompany Richard Gere‘s character to the train station as he’s leaving for work.

He breaks free again when he hears the train that evening, and ventures out to greet his new master, who’s on his way home now.

It becomes a daily ritual.  As they make their way back and forth to the train, playing fetch, and laughing, the dog scurries about him, jumping, and barking happily.  The bond between them grows even stronger.

Then, suddenly, the man dies.

For the rest of the movie (and the rest of his life), the dog patiently waits at the train for his master to return, despite many passionate entreaties from the man’s wife for Hachi to come home.   He steadfastly refuses to leave, and maintains his watch, year after year, until he passes on himself.

All this is based on a true story.

It’s sad to watch, but uplifting in a way.

The people of this Japanese town adopt Hachiko, feed him, pet him, and care for him from then on.

He inspired them.

He reminded them of friendship, loyalty, and faith…values that were being tested as their deeply traditional ways became modernized.

We’re often guilty of letting life separate us from the bare essence of who we were meant to be.  And there’s a sort of simplicity and joy in the unconditional love of a pet that reminds us not to worry about how to be — but to just be.

21st century living will test your values from time to time.

And make no mistake, when you show up as anything less than the best *you* you can be, the world pays a steep price for it.

Hachiko, a stray dog, became the symbol of an entire culture.

He’s even got a statue dedicated to him in the town square.

That’s the power of authenticity.

The fastest way to separate yourself from your true nature is by not feeling well, physically or otherwise.

Take care of yourself.

Take care of that body.

Don’t deprive the world of the gift of you – not even for a second.

Yours In Great Health,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

Why goals are pointless unless you have this

Comedian Louis CK has a great bit about how people on airplanes are the worst.

“I had to wait 40 minutes on the runway.”

Really?  You left out the part where you flew through the air…like a BIRD.  What about the miracle of air travel we all take for granted?  Nowadays you can do New York to L.A. in 6 hours.  Once upon a time the same journey could take thirty years, and about half of you wouldn’t survive.

That’s one reason I like stand-up.

Nothing like a little pointed ridicule to remind us when we’re acting like attention deficit millennials who freak out in a brunch line.

Look, we all have problems.

But here’s a rule of human achievement too powerful to ignore:

Until we appreciate the good we have, we won’t get any more.

Think of a child.  You buy her a toy.  She turns it over in her little fingers a few times, then chucks it on the floor and demands new one.  How inclined are you to buy it for her?

The energy of GRATITUDE is a prerequisite for GAIN.

That’s why it’s pointless to have goals unless you start from a place of gratitude.

Want to be healthier?  Appreciate whatever health you have now.

One reason New Year’s Resolutions fail is they’re big lists of things we don’t like.  And often, we’ve been stewing in our resentment of these things for a long time.

But consider this…

It’s impossible to feel resentment AND gratitude simultaneously.

They’re incompatible.

Similarly, you can’t experience FEAR and ANGER when every cell in your body is vibrating at the frequency of LOVE.  Negative emotions are ancient brain states designed to protect you by keeping you ensnared in the known.  That’s why gratitude is a launching pad.  It puts you in a state that makes you more receptive.  It inspires right action.  And it acts as a beacon that draws in the abundance all around you.

So don’t make lists of goals…

Make lists of what you’re grateful for.

Do it daily.

Don’t leave it to chance.  They’re YOUR thoughts, take responsibility for them.  Prime the pump and appreciate any time it feels right to do so.

Goals, and *what’s next* flashes are the natural offspring of this process.

One last anecdote: when I worked at Extreme Fitness, the cleaner was a Mexican guy called Carlos.  Every day Carlos came to work, he wore a beaming smile, and greeted everyone with an enthusiastic, “ehhh, Muchacho!”  Carlos had a lot of friends, and despite what we might consider his relatively humble position, a great life.  I once asked him why he was so happy.  He seemed puzzled.  “Life is BEAUTIFUL,” he said.  “I have my family.  I have a job – so many nice people here.  And I live in Canada, where it’s safe.”

Good share.

Make it a point to count your blessings on the regular…

Then, let goals be the sincere expression of living a life of gratitude.

Happy Appreciating,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

The MYTH of Hard Work – Motivational Video

Bill Burr has a great bit about antagonizing his girlfriend while she watches Oprah.

Oprah introduces her guest as doing “the hardest job in the world”…being a mother.  Bill says, really?  Being a mother is the hardest job?  Then he goes on to compare it with coal mining or “roofing in July as a red head.”

He says any job you can do in your pajamas can’t be that hard.

Of course, his goal is to get a laugh.  I’m a parent, and I’m not saying it’s not a hard job (and also clearly harder for the mother).  But I think whole thing is a funny caricature of the glorification of hard work in our culture.  We tend to want to make things seem harder than they are.  We wear it like a badge of honor.

I find business people particularly guilty of this.  It’s about how early you get up, or how many hours you work.

The real question is, what’s it all doing for you?  A lot of people who work very hard are going in circles.  There’s a big difference between being busy and being PRODUCTIVE.  The danger in always working harder is it tends becomes hard work for its own sake.  It’s like we’re staying busy just to feel like we’re doing something.

The concept of hard work as it’s commonly understood ignores an important fact: that the people who are working the “hardest”, at the highest echelons of success, are doing it because it has inherent rewards for them.  If it didn’t, they wouldn’t be doing it.  Something innate drives them.  This doesn’t mean that they never do anything they don’t want to do, but for the most part, they’re compelled to do what they do.

What we really want is not hard work, it’s INSPIRED work.  That’s when our efforts are guided by higher principles.

This is more the terrain of THINKING and PLANNING.

When your work becomes a grind, there’s resistance in it.  But you’ve gotta feel good to be at your best.

Think of an airplane trying to take off.  As it accelerates, you’re aware of the motion of the plane.  The friction created with the wheels on the runway results in a lot of shaking and noise.  But when you’re in the air, you’re moving a lot faster than you ever could on the ground and you don’t feel as much.

Real momentum is like that.

You’re at your most productive when it doesn’t feel like work.

One reason we can get addicted to being BUSY is that we mistake this feeling for traction, like the plane trying to leave the runway.  But when you can achieve without trying so hard, when it feels natural to progress, you unleash your potential.  There’s less friction, less resistance.  You move unobstructed.

And your innate goal-seeking abilities have a chance to work for you.

Happy Producing,

Conor Kelly

conorkelly.com

I tell jokes, therefore I am

One of my goals this year is to do a lot more keynotes.

So to *ease* myself into it, I signed up for a stand-up comedy class.

In my comedy set, I do a bit – yes I have *bits* now – about how I have a philosophy degree, hence the title of my post today.

(Don’t worry…I have funny material too.)

Anyway, I took the class for two reasons: (1) to challenge myself with something new (it’s out of my comfort zone), and (2) I thought it might help me continue to refine my speaking skills.

So far I’ve eaten my fair share of humble pie.

I’ve got a pretty good sense of humour.  However, being funny on demand is a different beast.  I’ve learned that about 80% of the game is being willing to make a joke and NOT hear laughter.  That’s how you find out what works; by throwing a bunch of stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks – or at least slides down slowly, leaving gooey skid marks.

There are certain patterns to it, but you can never know 100% what will make an audience laugh.  When they do laugh, you put a check-mark next to that one, and move on.

Top comedians have done a joke dozens of times before it ever airs on their Netflix special.

At the beginner level, everyone trembles when it’s their turn to take the stage.  Not one of us feels secure.  As I watch this unfold each week, I think “isn’t this amazing?  All of us out here, taking RISKS…”

This might be my inner masochist talking, but doing stand-up is a great way to experience failure in strident, painful, and repetitive ways, until you become immune to it.  It’s like a vaccine.  You take in small but concentrated doses of the stuff, and, in response, your immune system releases antibodies that immediately go to work on fear.

(I make it sound VERY appealing, I’m sure.)

There’s no evolution in sameness.

There’s only decay, deterioration, and RUST.  What’s true of all living things is that if we’re not growing, we’re dying.  Uncertainty and insecurity are passes to a virtual Disneyland of personal development.

AND…your opinion on what you can’t do isn’t usually based on facts.

With a bit of coaching, every single person in my stand-up class got funnier.

So risk.  Start today.  It doesn’t have to be stand-up, but put your name in the bucket to learn something new.

Be like the guy who was asked if he can play the piano:

“I don’t know,” he said.

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I’ve never tried.”

Happy Risking,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com


Put first things first

When I worked at Extreme Fitness, the company was a world leader in personal training sales.

Part of their sales process was to make you feel physically inadequate, so you’d realize you need a personal trainer.

Here’s an example:

The *consultant* as he or she was called, would ask you to squat while standing on a Bosu ball.  If you were shaky, they’d explain that this meant your stabilizers are weak.  You’re therefore (a) vulnerable to injury and (b) unlikely to progress much in your workouts without first addressing this problem.

Alas…this particular game is RIGGED.  The house always wins.  Everybody shakes.  That’s because it’s got little to do with your stabilizers.  Bosu ball squats are a skill.  Unless you’ve practiced them, you’re not going to be very good at them.

You probably can’t do the trapeze either.

That doesn’t mean you need the $3,000 Cirque Du Soleil package.

I can’t do a back flip.

I’ve lived with this handicap my entire life, and strangely, I don’t feel as though it’s held me back.  It hasn’t cost me any jobs due to discrimination.  I can legally marry.  And somehow, I even managed for many years as an elite strength athlete despite this glaring flaw – go figure.

Where am I going with this?

Your inability to squat on a Bosu probably hasn’t hurt you either.  It’s almost 98% irrelevant to your fitness goals.

Yet it’s human nature to fall for such gimmicks.

That’s IF…we’re not firmly rooted in PRINCIPLES.

Habit #3 of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is *put first things first*.  Bob Proctor says, “The main thing…is to keep the main thing, the main thing.”  In other words, if you want to lose fifty pounds it’s not about, e.g., what are the best kinds of yoghurt to eat.

Instead you should recognize that this change – if it’s going to last – has to begin with massive shifts in both your internal environment (thoughts, beliefs, emotions), and your external environment (which includes everything in your house or workplace, and in between).  These are shifts that need to be harmonized into enduring habits.

It’s about changing your lifestyle.

It’s setting priorities.

It’s committing to working on YOU, the person behind the body armor.

And this has more to do with THINKING and PLANNING than people generally realize.

I know, I know…you don’t want to think.  You’re too busy for that.  You just want someone to tell you what to do.  Or maybe you want me stop at what kind of yoghurt is best to eat.  But getting ever clearer on your intentions is the process of permanent change.

It’s the anatomy of transformation.

Make time for it, and your life will never be the same.

For more help with this, be sure to subscribe to my YouTube Channel:

=>Click here to visit The Conz’ YouTube Channel.

I’ll be posting easily digestible 120-second clips thrice each week.

My latest includes a few examples for how to put to new patterns on auto-pilot.

Check it out.

And note to my industry: personal training is POWERFUL.  Own it.  If you’re purposeful about it, you won’t need gimmicks to convince your buyers.

Happy Back-Flipping,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

How To Put New Patterns On Auto-Pilot

Let’s talk a little bit more about context changes…

I’d mentioned how manipulating conditions in your present environment to “handicap” your future self is really key, because it takes willpower out of the equation to a large extent.

So for instance, if you want to lose weight or improve your fitness, you can skip buying your monthly metropass and take up the habit of walking to and from work instead.  You can prepare healthy meals to bring to work with you and limit your choices.  You can STOP keeping foods that you have a hard time being moderate with in your house.

I heard some other great examples recently…

These are from Harley Pasternak.  He’s encouraging people to move more, and said as a busy person, what he’s done is to get rid of his coffee machine at home, so he has to walk four blocks to get his morning coffee.  Also, when meeting with someone, instead of just meeting at his office, he’ll say let’s walk and talk; your mind is in more of a creative state anyway.

I’ve talked about public speaking

One of the best things you can do to get yourself going with that is join a group; something like toastmasters.  You’ll pick up a few tips.  But most importantly it gets you up in front of people each week.   And remember, DOING is the path to BEING.  If you want to be decent, let alone great at anything, you need to do it, and do it often.

So this year, when I decided to get back into the flow of speaking (as I emerge weary-eyed from behind my laptop where I spent the last few months of 2016) one of the things I did was sign up for a stand up comedy class.  Now, I have no ambitions of becoming a comic…

But doing the stand up thing is definitely different from the speaking I’ve done over the years.  It’s a little out of my comfort zone, and that’s the point.  It’s got me thinking about humour, and how to add more of that to my presentations.  Mostly, it keeps me in front of people each week and it’s an opportunity to continue to refine my communication skills.

The other thing I did was commit to a monthly interview on ThatChannel.com.  Same idea, forces me to really button up my content, as well as practice being interviewed.

Finally, doing these videos was the third context change.   Each one is like a mini talk, so it forces me to clarify my ideas, and I’m getting practice at communicating them as well.

That’s really it.  That’s how it’s done.  That’s how I’m doing it.  That’s how you can use my concept of context changes to effectively automate any good behavior you want more of.  As I’ve said before, put some thought into what you want to accomplish.  Be clear on your intention.  Then be ruthless about organizing your life in ways that make it a lot harder for you to NOT do the positive new patterns you’re creating for yourself. 

Edit your daily method of operation, and your environment, so it becomes second nature.

With a just little bit of thought, I’m sure you can find ways to do this.

For a lot more ideas, to help you along the road to being EVEN more, and accomplishing EVEN more, be sure to sign up for my email tips by clicking the graphic in the right column.

Thanks for watching, and happy transforming.

Conor Kelly

Video: Conor explains how people change

“Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; make the iron hot by striking.”

There are three ways people change.

Usually the person is experiencing a symptom of some kind (like being overweight), or has a desire to do something like make more money.

The first type, are merely try to change it by willing themselves to.

They say they’re gonna go to the gym more, or start a new business.  But there’s no real plan so they don’t gain very much traction and eventually it’s status quo and the whole idea is history.

This is what happens to most new year’s resolutions, for example.

The second type will have a breakthrough of some kind.

This is usually something external.  They get a stern warning from their doctor about the health consequences of their current lifestyle.  They get fired from their jobs.   And of course you hear stories of people who say when they lost their job, they thought it was the worst thing ever, but it was a blessing in disguise because it forced them to go start the business they’ve always wanted to.

And as a trainer, I’d often get people who had a recent health scare or bad diagnosis.  They’d commit to a program, go through a period of what I call massive re-organization, but they soon find themselves in a “new normal” or plateau.  They’re definitely better off, but they never really take it any further.  They’re the person who needed to 70 pounds, but lost 20 and never really made past there.

Then there’s a third type.  This type might experience the initial breakthrough or not.  But they find a way, at every plateau, to do the reorganization stage so they can keep progressing.  They keep finding new ways of reinventing their lifestyle until they achieve total transformation.  They lose 50, 60, or a hundred pounds.  They go on to build huge businesses from scratch.

So what’s the person in the third category doing that the others are not?

They are in fact orchestrating their own breakthroughs.

change3

They’re reversing the order of breakthrough and organization.  By not waiting for a breakthrough, but instead consistently doing re-organization, they’re taking charge of their own transformational destiny.  They’ve hired a business coach.  They’ve committed the first hour of every day to marketing their services.  They’ve committed to eliminating certain foods from their diet, and don’t keep them in their house.  Ever.  They don’t suffer plateaus for very long.

The rule is the re-organization stage is where most of your energy needs to go.

Don’t wait for life to give you the breakthroughs.

Chip away at life until it’s forced to give itself over to your desires.

Happy Re-Organizing,

Conor Kelly

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