#1 Success KILLER and how to beat it

“In the words of the ancients, one should make his decisions within the space of seven breaths.  It is matter of being determined and having the spirit to break right through to the other side.” – Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai

Indecision.

Or better yet, a lack of decisiveness.

It’s killed more good ideas and more dreams than illness, misfortune and laziness combined.

Here’s my take on how to grab indecision by the jugular so you can claim your rightful, exalted destiny in this world:

Learn to put less weight on your decisions.

You see there’s a cognitive bias known as the “one-page bias.”

Using this filter, we tend give too much significance to the things that happen in a single day, and not enough significance to what happens over a year, or a decade.  In other words, we’re making *little* things count more than they should.

If for no other reason than your peace of mind, know this…

One day is one day.

It’s a page, in a chapter, in a section, in the book that is your life.

Your story.

What happens on that page generally matters much less than you think it does, you’re just not in the habit of looking at it that way.

And more…

The truth is, ultimately, NOTHING matters.

Fifty thousand years from now the sun will have cooled, and the earth will be nothing more than a big ball of ice.

That’s a fact.

It’ll be like we never existed.

I’m not trying to be nihilistic or depressing.

Things DO matter in their own time and place.

However, learning to take a broad perspective helps you to not go blowing sh*t all out of proportion.  It’s liberating.  It frees you to TAKE ACTION because you aren’t unevenly weighing the consequences of every choice.  You’ll be more relaxed, resourceful and positive, which helps you make better choices, too.

I’m all for thoughtful consideration.

What I’d spare you is the ‘paralysis by analysis’ that held me back for so long.

Remember, today’s only ONE PAGE OF YOUR LIFE.

The story will go on.

You’ll have the chance to write a new chapter.

Starting TODAY, no more indecision, ok?

Tell yourself, “ultimately, nothing matters.”

And go for it.

At some level you know what to do, you’re just not letting yourself do it.

For many of my success stories, simply making the decision to call me was the first step in a journey that changed their life.

Here’s your chance to practice being more decisive:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

Did you pass the first test?

Good…good.

Now go make it a great day.

Happy Deciding,

Conor Kelly

When it’s good to binge

Here’s a success tip from the off the beaten path…

You know how most of us binge on TV shows or movie series?

(Thank you Netflix.)

Well, I also binge on authors.

That’s right.

When I find someone who’s either (a) doing something I’d want to be doing, or (b) onto something I think is unique and valuable, I’ll crawl under barbed-wire to get my hands on every nanobyte of content they’ve ever published.

I want to know EVERYTHING he or she knows.

So I read all their books.

Often two of three times.

I plug in and download their experiences, research, and anecdotes into my greedy little memory cells.

Here’s what it’s done for me: it’s made me both deep and broad in my knowledge.

This helps me make informed decisions about my life.

(Sometimes.)

And clients are often surprised by the range of topics I know about.

Trust me that’s a good thing.

It instantly raises your value in their eyes.

That’s why, regardless of what you do for work, I suggest you give Conor’s hearty wisdom binge a go.  I’ve never read about this concept anywhere, nor heard it mentioned in the context of personal development or success, but this little battle tactic has won me a few victories in my day.

With the above in mind, I’d invite you to binge on ME for the next 30 days.

That’s why I created my 30 Day Transformation email series.

It’s one tip a day of the best my brain has to offer.  Read each one in the comfort and privacy of your inbox.  Also, I’m including a very rare bonus chapter I wrote on the #1 Key To Transformation.

Last call for Conor-hol here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

Happy Bingeing,

Conor Kelly

A little known Harvey Specter success secret

I’ve recently taken to watching old episodes of Suits.

Why?

Two words: Harvey Specter.

If you haven’t seen the show, it’s set in the high stakes world of corporate law with its big dollar deals, cut-throat maneuvers, and boardroom-sized egos.

Harvey Specter is the hot-shot “closer” with a reputation for winning.

He may be fictional, but a fine study of success traits doth Mr. Specter make.

Unapologetic in his ambition, Harvey is an incurable action-taker.  He expects to win, but doesn’t get wound up when things (temporarily) don’t go his way.  He’s got a rock solid belief in his own abilities, and regularly bets LARGE on himself.

In one episode, he makes senior partner in the firm.

There’s a board meeting to announce his promotion.

In front of the board, Jessica, the firm’s boss, pranks Harvey by making him think the equity buy-in for senior partners (a cool half a mil) is payable right away.

Harvey goes white and says: “I have to pay the whole amount now??”

Turns out he’s just playing along.

Always the smooth operator, he later hands Jessica a cheque.

She goes: “You’ve had the money since you knew about the promotion?”

“I’ve had it since I first set my eye on becoming partner,” he replies with a smirk.

You go, Harv.

That’s called being all in, my friend.

As soon as you know you want something, act NOW as though it will happen and plan accordingly.

When’s the last time you bet on yourself like that?

The fitness equivalent might be committing to four to six months of a personal training program by paying in full on the first day.

Many clients have justified their investment to me in these terms.  Most find it hard to back out once all their chips are the table.

Now here’s the not-so-dirty little secret…

You don’t need Harvey’s confidence in order to do this.

In fact, I guarantee if you’ll ignore your doubts, and simply let yourself be willing to make that bet, your confidence will climb about ten notches, right then and there.

Author Jerry Sternin once said: “it’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than it is to think your way into a new way of acting.”

(That’s worth re-reading.)

So borrow a page from the great Harvey Specter’s script.

Take massive action.

Bet on yourself.

Keep moving forward.

Just don’t be surprised when this works.

If you liked this, you’re gonna love my 30 Day Transformation email series.

It’s one tip a day (featuring some of my most popular emails from the last six years) to help you be the best possible version of yourself.  It also includes a rare digital copy of my book chapter on The #1 Key To Transformation.

And it’s yours with my compliments.

You can subscribe here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

I’m excited.

It’s gym time, then taking Olivia to the hairdresser.

Happy Betting,

Conor Kelly

 

Give me your very best

First things first, one of my fave motivational vids…

Take a minute and watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUKoKQlEC4

Now, consider this…

It’s what you DO that your mind registers.

That’s what determines how you feel about that wonderful, mysterious and powerful thing called YOU.

Your self-image is the #1 thing that impacts how successful you are in any goal.

And your self-image mirrors your ACTIONS.

When you first wake up in the morning, how do you move?  Do you take small steps with your head down?  What does the expression on your face say?

Pay attention to this, then do me a solid and try this little exercise:

1.  Make your first strides out of bed long and purposeful.  Throw your shoulders back and lift your head.  Relax your face (there’s a lot of brain tissue dedicated to sensing the face, so any scrunching or tightening contributes greatly to your overall felt sense of tension).  Try to embody this dominant, relaxed posture as you go about your morning routine.

2.  When you walk out the door, strut like you mean it.  Imagine the Bee Gees Stayin’ Alive is your soundtrack.  Hell, you think Barry Gibb is singing about you.

“You can tell by the way I use my walk…

Damn right you can.

This is what being a badass looks like.

3.  The first time you cross a busy intersection, say to yourself as you cross, “God I’m spectacular.”  This’ll probably make you laugh, and that’s good.  You’ll look and feel like you don’t have a care in the world.

Do these three steps with total commitment, and I defy you to not have good things happen to you today.

Remember, no one else in the world is like you.

That makes you special.

You’re here for a reason.

One out of 100 million sperm.

Own it.

Later, hot stuff….

Conor Kelly

 

 

Canine heroes, Richard Gere

The saddest movie I ever saw was Hachi: A Dog’s Tale.

In the movie, Richard Gere portrays a dog owner that has a special connection with a stray dog he takes into his home.

A big, beautiful Husky, Hachiko immediately captures the man’s heart with his playful and loving nature.  The very next day, Hachi manages to escape the fenced back yard, so he can accompany Richard Gere‘s character to the train station as he’s leaving for work.

He breaks free again when he hears the train that evening, and ventures out to greet his new master, who’s on his way home now.

It becomes a daily ritual.  As they make their way back and forth to the train, playing fetch, and laughing, the dog scurries about him, jumping, and barking happily.  The bond between them grows even stronger.

Then, suddenly, the man dies.

For the rest of the movie (and the rest of his life), the dog patiently waits at the train for his master to return, despite many passionate entreaties from the man’s wife for Hachi to come home.   He steadfastly refuses to leave, and maintains his watch, year after year, until he passes on himself.

All this is based on a true story.

It’s sad to watch, but uplifting in a way.

The people of this Japanese town adopt Hachiko, feed him, pet him, and care for him from then on.

He inspired them.

He reminded them of friendship, loyalty, and faith…values that were being tested as their deeply traditional ways became modernized.

We’re often guilty of letting life separate us from the bare essence of who we were meant to be.  And there’s a sort of simplicity and joy in the unconditional love of a pet that reminds us not to worry about how to be — but to just be.

21st century living will test your values from time to time.

And make no mistake, when you show up as anything less than the best *you* you can be, the world pays a steep price for it.

Hachiko, a stray dog, became the symbol of an entire culture.

He’s even got a statue dedicated to him in the town square.

That’s the power of authenticity.

The fastest way to separate yourself from your true nature is by not feeling well, physically or otherwise.

Take care of yourself.

Take care of that body.

Don’t deprive the world of the gift of you – not even for a second.

Yours In Great Health,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

Why goals are pointless unless you have this

Comedian Louis CK has a great bit about how people on airplanes are the worst.

“I had to wait 40 minutes on the runway.”

Really?  You left out the part where you flew through the air…like a BIRD.  What about the miracle of air travel we all take for granted?  Nowadays you can do New York to L.A. in 6 hours.  Once upon a time the same journey could take thirty years, and about half of you wouldn’t survive.

That’s one reason I like stand-up.

Nothing like a little pointed ridicule to remind us when we’re acting like attention deficit millennials who freak out in a brunch line.

Look, we all have problems.

But here’s a rule of human achievement too powerful to ignore:

Until we appreciate the good we have, we won’t get any more.

Think of a child.  You buy her a toy.  She turns it over in her little fingers a few times, then chucks it on the floor and demands new one.  How inclined are you to buy it for her?

The energy of GRATITUDE is a prerequisite for GAIN.

That’s why it’s pointless to have goals unless you start from a place of gratitude.

Want to be healthier?  Appreciate whatever health you have now.

One reason New Year’s Resolutions fail is they’re big lists of things we don’t like.  And often, we’ve been stewing in our resentment of these things for a long time.

But consider this…

It’s impossible to feel resentment AND gratitude simultaneously.

They’re incompatible.

Similarly, you can’t experience FEAR and ANGER when every cell in your body is vibrating at the frequency of LOVE.  Negative emotions are ancient brain states designed to protect you by keeping you ensnared in the known.  That’s why gratitude is a launching pad.  It puts you in a state that makes you more receptive.  It inspires right action.  And it acts as a beacon that draws in the abundance all around you.

So don’t make lists of goals…

Make lists of what you’re grateful for.

Do it daily.

Don’t leave it to chance.  They’re YOUR thoughts, take responsibility for them.  Prime the pump and appreciate any time it feels right to do so.

Goals, and *what’s next* flashes are the natural offspring of this process.

One last anecdote: when I worked at Extreme Fitness, the cleaner was a Mexican guy called Carlos.  Every day Carlos came to work, he wore a beaming smile, and greeted everyone with an enthusiastic, “ehhh, Muchacho!”  Carlos had a lot of friends, and despite what we might consider his relatively humble position, a great life.  I once asked him why he was so happy.  He seemed puzzled.  “Life is BEAUTIFUL,” he said.  “I have my family.  I have a job – so many nice people here.  And I live in Canada, where it’s safe.”

Good share.

Make it a point to count your blessings on the regular…

Then, let goals be the sincere expression of living a life of gratitude.

Happy Appreciating,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

The MYTH of Hard Work – Motivational Video

Bill Burr has a great bit about antagonizing his girlfriend while she watches Oprah.

Oprah introduces her guest as doing “the hardest job in the world”…being a mother.  Bill says, really?  Being a mother is the hardest job?  Then he goes on to compare it with coal mining or “roofing in July as a red head.”

He says any job you can do in your pajamas can’t be that hard.

Of course, his goal is to get a laugh.  I’m a parent, and I’m not saying it’s not a hard job (and also clearly harder for the mother).  But I think whole thing is a funny caricature of the glorification of hard work in our culture.  We tend to want to make things seem harder than they are.  We wear it like a badge of honor.

I find business people particularly guilty of this.  It’s about how early you get up, or how many hours you work.

The real question is, what’s it all doing for you?  A lot of people who work very hard are going in circles.  There’s a big difference between being busy and being PRODUCTIVE.  The danger in always working harder is it tends becomes hard work for its own sake.  It’s like we’re staying busy just to feel like we’re doing something.

The concept of hard work as it’s commonly understood ignores an important fact: that the people who are working the “hardest”, at the highest echelons of success, are doing it because it has inherent rewards for them.  If it didn’t, they wouldn’t be doing it.  Something innate drives them.  This doesn’t mean that they never do anything they don’t want to do, but for the most part, they’re compelled to do what they do.

What we really want is not hard work, it’s INSPIRED work.  That’s when our efforts are guided by higher principles.

This is more the terrain of THINKING and PLANNING.

When your work becomes a grind, there’s resistance in it.  But you’ve gotta feel good to be at your best.

Think of an airplane trying to take off.  As it accelerates, you’re aware of the motion of the plane.  The friction created with the wheels on the runway results in a lot of shaking and noise.  But when you’re in the air, you’re moving a lot faster than you ever could on the ground and you don’t feel as much.

Real momentum is like that.

You’re at your most productive when it doesn’t feel like work.

One reason we can get addicted to being BUSY is that we mistake this feeling for traction, like the plane trying to leave the runway.  But when you can achieve without trying so hard, when it feels natural to progress, you unleash your potential.  There’s less friction, less resistance.  You move unobstructed.

And your innate goal-seeking abilities have a chance to work for you.

Happy Producing,

Conor Kelly

conorkelly.com