How I get travel perks and other neat stuff

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Check out Yours Muscularly striking the classic Ocean’s 11 pose in front of the fountains at The Bellagio.

I’ve been in Vegas since Wednesday for a seminar.

Anyway, here’s a little trick I learned a while back…

Whenever I check in at a hotel, I always get a free room upgrade.

This time was no different.

Here’s how I do it:

1. By ASKING.

2. By EXPECTING a yes.

I’ll usually come up with some dubious rationale for why.

In this case, I’m staying at Treasure Island.  It’s my first time here.  Most places if they’re reasonably decent want to make a good first impression so you’ll come back.

So I go:

“It’s my first time here!  Can you give me a free upgrade?”

That’s it.

But the key is in how I ask.  It’s not so much what I say, as what I’m saying without actually saying it.  Catch my drift?  That means my body language signals that I’m expecting the affirmative.

I hold eye contact.  I don’t flinch.  I breathe.

And I wait for a response.

Ok, back to this trip.  The clerk looks me over (he’s sizing me up), then he checks his computer.  He says, “Well, Mr. Kelly, we have a room on the 22nd floor with a view.  It’s larger and has two queen beds.  But it’s $50 extra per night.”

To which I reply: “Is there anything you can do for me?”

Again, eye contact.  Breathing.

It’s like playing Chicken.

He who blinks first, loses.

After giving me another long, pondering look, he says: “I can do that for you Mr. Kelly.  We hope you’ll enjoy your first stay with us.”

There you have it.

That’s how it’s done.

I figured this out about 10 years ago and literally have not been told ‘no’ by any hotel since.

Will this always work?

Of course not.

But since we’re talking Vegas I’d place odds on a confident ask.

By the way, this is a power persuasion principle.

You can use it in all sorts of devious ways to get what your greedy little heart desires (and positively influence situations, too).  Just practice the habit of expecting a yes when you make a request and be sure your sub-communications match your words.

Be relaxed.

Wait it out.

What does this have to do with your fitness?

Part of what keeps deals like my mini Vegas caper from unraveling is having that good feeling in your body, deep down in your bones.

It’s the ultimate influence.

So start getting more of what you want, when you want it, here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

Alright, that’s good for today.

I’ve got to head to the airport soon.

Catch you when I’m back in The 6.

Happy Persuading,

Conor Kelly

When it’s good to binge

Here’s a success tip from the off the beaten path…

You know how most of us binge on TV shows or movie series?

(Thank you Netflix.)

Well, I also binge on authors.

That’s right.

When I find someone who’s either (a) doing something I’d want to be doing, or (b) onto something I think is unique and valuable, I’ll crawl under barbed-wire to get my hands on every nanobyte of content they’ve ever published.

I want to know EVERYTHING he or she knows.

So I read all their books.

Often two of three times.

I plug in and download their experiences, research, and anecdotes into my greedy little memory cells.

Here’s what it’s done for me: it’s made me both deep and broad in my knowledge.

This helps me make informed decisions about my life.

(Sometimes.)

And clients are often surprised by the range of topics I know about.

Trust me that’s a good thing.

It instantly raises your value in their eyes.

That’s why, regardless of what you do for work, I suggest you give Conor’s hearty wisdom binge a go.  I’ve never read about this concept anywhere, nor heard it mentioned in the context of personal development or success, but this little battle tactic has won me a few victories in my day.

With the above in mind, I’d invite you to binge on ME for the next 30 days.

That’s why I created my 30 Day Transformation email series.

It’s one tip a day of the best my brain has to offer.  Read each one in the comfort and privacy of your inbox.  Also, I’m including a very rare bonus chapter I wrote on the #1 Key To Transformation.

Last call for Conor-hol here:

http://www.conorkellypersonaltrainer.com

Happy Bingeing,

Conor Kelly

Give me your very best

First things first, one of my fave motivational vids…

Take a minute and watch it here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sUKoKQlEC4

Now, consider this…

It’s what you DO that your mind registers.

That’s what determines how you feel about that wonderful, mysterious and powerful thing called YOU.

Your self-image is the #1 thing that impacts how successful you are in any goal.

And your self-image mirrors your ACTIONS.

When you first wake up in the morning, how do you move?  Do you take small steps with your head down?  What does the expression on your face say?

Pay attention to this, then do me a solid and try this little exercise:

1.  Make your first strides out of bed long and purposeful.  Throw your shoulders back and lift your head.  Relax your face (there’s a lot of brain tissue dedicated to sensing the face, so any scrunching or tightening contributes greatly to your overall felt sense of tension).  Try to embody this dominant, relaxed posture as you go about your morning routine.

2.  When you walk out the door, strut like you mean it.  Imagine the Bee Gees Stayin’ Alive is your soundtrack.  Hell, you think Barry Gibb is singing about you.

“You can tell by the way I use my walk…

Damn right you can.

This is what being a badass looks like.

3.  The first time you cross a busy intersection, say to yourself as you cross, “God I’m spectacular.”  This’ll probably make you laugh, and that’s good.  You’ll look and feel like you don’t have a care in the world.

Do these three steps with total commitment, and I defy you to not have good things happen to you today.

Remember, no one else in the world is like you.

That makes you special.

You’re here for a reason.

One out of 100 million sperm.

Own it.

Later, hot stuff….

Conor Kelly

 

 

Why 2018 will be even better than you think

All this machinery
Making modern music
Can still be open-hearted
Not so coldly charted
It’s really just a question
Of your honesty, yeah your honesty

-Rush, The Spirit of Radio

In high school I played lead guitar for a rock band.

We covered The Eagles Hotel California in the school talent show, and sauntered to class like we were rock stars.

But the drummer of the band, Anthony, and myself, were both much more obsessed with Rush.  Anthony wanted to be Neil Peart, and I wanted to be Alex Lifeson.

A great Canadian (and Torontonian) success story, Rush has always been the quintessential rock band for rock nerds.

The level of musicianship and virtuosity the trio applied to their songwriting and concerts was, and arguably still is, unparalleled in the world of rock.

Now if you haven’t tried to cover a Rush tune, it’s the musical equivalent of reproducing a painting by Monet.

Or at least it seemed that way to a couple of high school kids.

The band’s attention to detail is so extreme, and their timing so impeccable, that it’s near impossible. Especially on their more intricate tracks.

One summer, Anthony and I spent hours rehearsing The Spirit of Radio.  We drilled the intro repeatedly, but somehow we were never quite tight enough. We missed cues, and bumbled our way through the piece’s various time changes.

We eventually got close, but it still didn’t sound like Rush.

Both of us knew it.

Then, one hazy afternoon, as we were about to call it a practice, we decided to give it one more try.  And we nailed the song!  From start to finish, and with surgical precision. It was poetry in motion. We sat frozen for a few seconds as our brains struggled to catch up with what’d just happened.

There was no one around.

Not a soul heard us that day.

But we were grinning ear to ear, and high-fiving like we’d won a Grammy or something.

I lost touch with Anthony after high school, but if I saw him today, I’d bet anything we’d point at each other and say, “Remember the Spirit of Radio?”

Every so often, life gives us moments like these.

Flashes of pure inspiration.

If there’s one thing I would wish for you in 2018, it’s to be more deliberate in carving out your very own living snapshots, somewhere between breaths, where time has no meaning.

If you start, this minute, by thinking of five experiences you’re grateful for…

…We’ll be on our way.

To more “moments” in 2018,

Conor Kelly


Canine heroes, Richard Gere

The saddest movie I ever saw was Hachi: A Dog’s Tale.

In the movie, Richard Gere portrays a dog owner that has a special connection with a stray dog he takes into his home.

A big, beautiful Husky, Hachiko immediately captures the man’s heart with his playful and loving nature.  The very next day, Hachi manages to escape the fenced back yard, so he can accompany Richard Gere‘s character to the train station as he’s leaving for work.

He breaks free again when he hears the train that evening, and ventures out to greet his new master, who’s on his way home now.

It becomes a daily ritual.  As they make their way back and forth to the train, playing fetch, and laughing, the dog scurries about him, jumping, and barking happily.  The bond between them grows even stronger.

Then, suddenly, the man dies.

For the rest of the movie (and the rest of his life), the dog patiently waits at the train for his master to return, despite many passionate entreaties from the man’s wife for Hachi to come home.   He steadfastly refuses to leave, and maintains his watch, year after year, until he passes on himself.

All this is based on a true story.

It’s sad to watch, but uplifting in a way.

The people of this Japanese town adopt Hachiko, feed him, pet him, and care for him from then on.

He inspired them.

He reminded them of friendship, loyalty, and faith…values that were being tested as their deeply traditional ways became modernized.

We’re often guilty of letting life separate us from the bare essence of who we were meant to be.  And there’s a sort of simplicity and joy in the unconditional love of a pet that reminds us not to worry about how to be — but to just be.

21st century living will test your values from time to time.

And make no mistake, when you show up as anything less than the best *you* you can be, the world pays a steep price for it.

Hachiko, a stray dog, became the symbol of an entire culture.

He’s even got a statue dedicated to him in the town square.

That’s the power of authenticity.

The fastest way to separate yourself from your true nature is by not feeling well, physically or otherwise.

Take care of yourself.

Take care of that body.

Don’t deprive the world of the gift of you – not even for a second.

Yours In Great Health,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

How to have more self-control

Jerry is a broker working on Bay Street.

His day typically starts at 5.30AM.  He sips a coffee and eats a Tim Horton’s breakfast bagel while he reads the Globe and Mail to get all the latest updates on what’s going on in the world.

Staying on top of events helps him better advise his clients, who trust him with millions of dollars.

He spends his day meeting with clients, taking phone calls, and watching the markets.  Some days the phone calls don’t stop.  He’ll either miss lunch, just have a latte instead, or have to be contented with whatever is being served in the food court that day.

Every day he makes more than a dozen decisions that could irrevocably affect the financial future of the people he represents.  Some days, Jerry doesn’t leave the office until 8PM or 9PM, and retreats to his appartment exhausted, stressed, and hungry.

He knows he needs to eat better.  His weight has crept up over the last few years.  He’s even gone as far as to see a nutritionist that created a simple-to-follow meal plan, which he has every intention of putting into practice.  Yet today he’s so tired, and so hungry.

On the way into the elevator at his building he meets a delivery guy who’s just delivered a freshly baked pizza to someone two floors above him.  The smell wafts in the air, to the point that he can almost taste it, “ooh that smells good.  Pepperoni or Italian sausage?”  He requests a business card from the delivery guy, goes upstairs, and orders his own pizza.

Timing is everything.

According to a recent New York Times article, this is what researchers discovered after considering more than 1,100 cases of prisoners in an Israeli prison going before a parole board.  They identified a pattern to the parole board’s decisions, but it had little to do with the ethnic background, crimes, or sentences of the prisoners.

It had everything to do with the timing.  For instance, prisoners who appeared before the parole board early in the morning were paroled about 70% of the time, while those appearing before the board late in the day received parole at a rate of less than 10%! 

Need a favor from someone?  Better ask first thing in the morning.

The study contributes to mounting evidence that we possess a finite store of mental energy for making decisions, one that gets depleted with use.  In other words, your willpower goes down the more decisions you make.  The parole board makes decisions all day long.  Whether it’s at the end of the day, or after several decisions, not paroling someone mostly maintains the status quo, which therefore makes it less of a decision.

The limited nature of our “decision making energy” has been amply demonstrated in studies that tested willpower before and after a series of decisions.

What scientists are now realizing is that the fall off in our ability to choose has a lot do with brain glucose levels. 

Need another favor from someone?  Better buy that person a meal – or least some gummy bears.

In the study above, our inmates received very preferential treatment right after lunch.

They arrived at the glucose connection through an apparently failed experiment.  Researchers wanted to prove the Mardi Gras theory.  It’s the idea that people could restrain themselves better if they over-indulged first.  If you’re like most of us, you may have tested that theory on yourself a few times already.

Participants in the study were given a delicious milkshake, then tested.  Indeed, with an instant sugar fix they outperformed the control.  The only problem was, the control group, which was given a flavorless white glop, showed just as much improvement on the second test!  How could this be?

One optimistic version of the story was that it’s the glucose support, not the taste, that contributes to improvements in self-control.  This was later confirmed when the study was repeated using sugar versus artificial sweeteners.  Even though the artificial sweeteners taste sweet, it was a clear win for sugar in the brain boosting department.

According to the writer:

“The discoveries about glucose help explain why dieting is a uniquely difficult test of self-control — and why even people with phenomenally strong willpower in the rest of their lives can have such a hard time losing weight. They start out the day with virtuous intentions, resisting croissants at breakfast and dessert at lunch, but each act of resistance further lowers their willpower. As their willpower weakens late in the day, they need to replenish it. But to resupply that energy, they need to give the body glucose.”

He goes on to say that people are then caught in a nutritional “catch-22”:  they need willpower to not eat, but not eating depletes willpower.

Bummer.

Not only that, but as the body uses up glucose, it seeks a quick way to replenish, leading to cravings for sugar.  Because people in self-control situations are using more glucose, it makes them even more susceptible to craving sweets.

We are the creators of our own appetite.

When you have intense cravings, it’s usually a sign that you’re not giving your body something that it needs.

So what can you do about it?  Simply limiting the number of decisions you make in a day doesn’t seem very practical.  Or does it?

Here’s what I suggest:

  1. Don’t diet! I’ve always said any plan based on excessive deprivation is flawed.  I would say this latest article is more evidence that I might have something.  Diets are self-control killers and will eventually blow up in your face, as any former diet dropout knows.

If you thought you failed at dieting before, you now know that not only did you not fail, but in fact you’ve been genetically programmed not to succeed with diets!

But with no more hunger pangs, lightheadedness, lethargy, and general discontent, how will we know when we’re being good?

I guess all that’s left is to eat enough calories to support a healthy metabolism, learn to make better choices, and use how good you feel as a gauge.

  1. Smaller, more frequent meals, containing protein and low glycemic index carbs will keep the glucose levels steady, prevent excessive hunger and cravings, and give you the best possible opportunity to make better decisions as the day progresses.

According to the author: “The problem is that what we identify as sugar doesn’t help as much over the course of the day as the steadier supply of glucose we would get from eating proteins and other more nutritious foods.”

Say no more.  A wink is as good as a nudge to a blind bat, or something like that. 

  1. Plan ahead.  Let’s take this a step further.  In light of the above, I’ll suggest that planning and preparation are even more essential to success.  When you fail to plan, or prepare for the day or week ahead, you are deliberately placing yourself in a position where you’ll need to make many more tough choices throughout the day, thereby inducing a state of “decision fatigue” which leads to comparatively worse choices.

When your meals are planned there’s no need to think.  When you think less, you retain your self-control longer.  The longer you retain your self-control, the better your choices will be.

Make better choices by making FEWER choices.

I like it.

It’s a bit wordy to go on the back of a t-shirt though.

The good news is that if you make the right choice enough times it eventually becomes easier.  When less mental energy is expended with each decision, you increase your power to make supportive decisions in general.

Self-control is like a muscle; you’ve gotta flex it a few times before it gets stronger.

To Your Success,

Conor Kelly