Tag: Transformation

Why no news is good news

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If there was one piece of advice I could give you that would immediately make you lighter, it’s this…

Go on a news diet.

Stop watching, reading, or listening to the news.

I was reminded of this recently with the fallout of the US presidential election.  If the campaign itself wasn’t enough of giant turd with flies buzzing all around, the so-called backlash to the result also has many of us reaching for a handkerchief or shirt collar to cover our noses.  It’s impossible to suck in all this venom, the way a lot of peeps do – I mean, they take it quiiite personally – and still feel ok, happy, and secure.

Yet you need to feel happy and secure to function at your best.

Remember two things:

1.  No thought lives in your head rent-free. There’s a cost to entertaining all the negative BS…and it’s usually to your general well-being and success.

2.  Fear sells.  There are biological reasons for this.  The primitive structures of our brains evolved in a chaotic world of predators, scarce resources, and many more of Mother Nature’s cruelest survival tests.  Ergo, much of the *downstairs* brain’s role in mediating emotions has to do with perceiving threats – real or otherwise.

We live with these echoes today.

Some are useful, like knowing not to touch a hot stove.

Others aren’t, but still sometimes hand the sentry the illegitimate power to captain the ship.

That’s why so much of what you read, see, or hear is fear-based.

So here it is…

Go cold turkey on the newsfeed crack for a while.  You won’t miss anything important, believe me.

Watch a comedy.

Read a book.

I can’t make you do it.

(As Weird Al Yankovic once said, “you can lead a horse to water…but you can’t keep your eyes open when you’re sneezing.”  Such wisdom…)

Few things will do more for your state of mind.

Anyway, that’s my bit for today.

Call (416) 826-4844 to request your personal training consultation, and let’s chat about POSITIVE solutions to any body problems you might have.

Happy News Avoiding,

Conor Kelly
conorkelly.com

Don’t make me go back to the OLD me

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“I’ve done some things in my life…things I’m not proud of.  A long time ago, I promised someone I love that I’d never go back to being that person.  But for you, I’m gonna make an exception.”  – Denzel Washington as Robert McCall, The Equalizer

Once upon a weekend, I worked security for an all-ages event at The Kool Haus.

Essentially a warehouse converted to a concert venue, the main room held elaborate scaffolding with wires and fixtures that powered the light show, scant furniture (shrink-wrapped in plastic, against spills and other projectiles), and a long bar that served only water and soft drinks.

Several DJ’s took the stage to entertain a crowd of 16-year-old’s.

Apart from the usual thoughts of “was I ever like them?”…not much was happening.

That’s until I noticed one kid in full mount on top of another, flailing away at him with punches.  The bottom one lay prone on a couch with his arms raised in defense, trying to prevent his face from getting jack-hammered.

I immediately jumped to the rescue.

I pulled the first guy off, tossing him aside, and checked with the other to see if he was ok.  Then I felt a sudden stinging sensation.  The aggressor, whom I’d casually dispatched, came back with a wild punch that landed on my ear!  I pivoted, a bit stunned.  As soon as I realized he’d hit me, I was, shall we say…a tad peeved.

I grabbed him, picked him up, and not-so-gently redirected his azz toward the exit.

To hear my security buddies tell it, I dangled junior in front me, feet off the ground, and shook him like a rag doll – for three hundred feet, until we reached the parking lot.

I don’t quite remember it that way, but this was at the height of my strength career.  And he weighed a buck fifty, if that. With my adrenaline going, I’m sure I could’ve made a relatively small human dance like a marionette on a string.

(Legal note: no teenagers were harmed in the making of this email.)

For the purpose of lifting heavy objects – and dealing with troublesome club patrons – I’ve found it useful to have an alter ego.

Mine’s The Giant Killer…my nickname when I did strongman.

The Giant Killer’s got the right sort of slightly-pissed-off determination to move things along when needed.  Even today, when faced with a difficult task (e.g. a training session I’d rather not do), I find I’m able to summon The Giant Killer to my aid in getting s**t done.

Look, some things are hard.

Ain’t no but’s about it.

Leaning on an alter ego is one way to beat the resistance you feel, by making yourself EQUAL to the job.

(The other is to chunk it down into smaller, more manageable bits.  That’s why my 16-week program works: it provides you a step-by-step process to achieving your fittest body.  Hit *reply* to request your personal training consultation, and find out if it’s for you.)

Think back to a time when you channeled some hutzpah, stood up for yourself, and felt powerful.

Who were you then?

Who’s the HULK to your Bruce Banner?

Give your superhero identity a name.

And next time you’re confronted with a challenge, don’t be afraid to let *the other guy* (or gal) take over.

You’re a nice person.

I get it.

But for this…you’ll make an exception…

Happy Alter-Egoing,

Conor Kelly

 

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Try not to know what you don’t know

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Before my daughter was born, we had her name narrowed down to either Gabriella or Nicole.

We’d shared the options with family, many of whom were willing to have their vote counted.

(We didn’t add friends to the mix, for fear of hearing something like “Nicole?  Oh, let me tell you about this total be-otch I know.  Her name is Nicole.”)

Anyway, young Gabriella was talked about in various scenarios pre-delivery, until she was fully baked and ready to be brought forth onto this planet.

When she did finally make her grand entrance, neither of the front-runners among the names we’d considered seemed apt.

She just didn’t look like a Gabriella.

A few weeks prior, I’d been served my espresso by a Starbucks barista like a sitcom character.   Her off-beat sense of humor made me laugh – and this was pre caffeine…

“What’s your name?”  I asked.

“Olivia.”  She replied.

I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now as I looked down at my newborn, it hit me…

“What do you think of Olivia?” I suggested.

“It’s perfect.  I love it.”  Raya answered.

And so it was.

Good choice too.  She’s definitely an Olivia.

(Nicole became the middle name.)

It’s a perfect reminder that often we try to call it before we truly understand it.

Many circumstances just don’t fit the category we assign them, and only later do we realize it.

As much as I hate to admit it, I’m not that smart.  I don’t know everything that’s going to happen.  That’s why I try to make it a habit to challenge my assumptions.  I’ve learned that I might not always be right, and, [pause for dramatic effect], I’m often happier to be wrong.

So I try not to let what I don’t know run my life.

You hate your job but you don’t think you’ll be able to support yourself if you quit.  How do you know you won’t find something better?

You have a passion for a different business but you think you’ll make more money in your current business, even though you’re bored with it, so you stay.  But you don’t know that you won’t make ten times the dinero in some other gig.

There’s something you’d rather quit (a food, a medication, a business or personal relationship) but you don’t think you can go without.

I can go on…

The philosopher’s mantra of an unexamined life is not the only life not worth living – so’s a life with without experimentation.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

So don’t pretend to.

Put your assumptions to the test wherever possible.

Make things earn their label.

Otherwise you can end up calling it something other than it is.

And after all…what’s in a name?

Happy Assumption-Challenging,

Conor Kelly

P.S.  Think you can’t follow through on a 16-week program to transform the way you eat and exercise?  Try me.  Reply to this email for your complimentary personal training consultation, and let’s find out.

Better than a mosh pit of three-year-old’s

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Like all three-year-old’s, my Olivia is committed to her playtime.

During a recent playdate, she and a little friend were jumping on our bed to music.  Olivia was selecting random CD’s and playing them (which she does herself) as a soundtrack to this high-adrenaline form of toddler sport.

It started with an age appropriate collection of kids songs like Wheels On The Bus, and If You’re Happy And You Know It.

Then she decided to explore Daddy’s collection…

The standard fare of Irish music and Bulgarian Pop Folk added a distinctly cultural feel to the festivities.  But when I heard the opening bars to Metallica’s Master of Puppets,  I immediately suggested it might not be the best choice because of how ‘loud’ it is, and because her friend wouldn’t like it (or be frightened by it, which I also figured was a possibility).

She shrugged, “Do you like it Willow?”

“Yeah!”  shouted her playmate.

And the two of them proceeded to bound enthusiastically to the crushing power chords and high-speed percussion of an epic thrash metal jam.

A mosh pit of three year olds had broken out in my bedroom.

So I did what any self-respecting metal-head parent would do…taught them how to salute the gods of rock by pressing their middle and ring fingers to their palms with their thumbs, while making devil horns of their index and pinky fingers.  Somewhere, Ozzy Ozbourne mumbled something to someone about being drunk on a bus – it was unintelligible, but you could tell he was happy.

A lot of fun can be found in unexpected places when you’re a kid.

As adults, we tend to forget that.  But all it takes is being open to it, and even a drab afternoon of renewing your driver’s license can be transmuted into some unexpected, story- worthy experience.

(Like the other evening, when I counseled a stranger on the streetcar who’d just caught his girlfriend cheating.  It’s all good…we trainers are honorary shrinks.)

Often, I find people are either going through the motions – or fully dreading the process of whatever they’ve set about doing – and thereby close themselves off to valuable insights.

Breakthroughs occur in times of openness.

So as you go about your day, do that.

Be open.

The fun will find you.

And so will positive transformation.

Happy Playtime,

Conor Kelly

 

The Biggest Loser Rule

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For years, America’s ‘heavyweights’ have duked it out in reality TV’s equivalent of a science experiment gone drastically wrong.

The Biggest Loser pits obese men and women against each other in a battle of who can lose most absurd amount of weight.

Aside from airing some oversized dirty laundry, contestants are subjected to an intense regime.

First, they’re whisked away from their families and made to share a house with a bunch of strangers.  Then they’re put on an extremely strict, calorie-controlled diet.  Finally, they’re abused in all sorts of ways by well-meaning trainers with a penchant for theatrics.  All the while, the carrot of a 250K grand prize is dangled in front of their pale, mouth-breathing faces.

This ritual continues for weeks, with routine weigh-ins and the obligatory emotional breakdowns.

The only thing about the process that’s not extreme is the rate at which the losers regain the weight after the final episode wraps.  In fact, it mirrors exactly what happens to most people who attempt to lose weight in the privacy of their own homes.

Why do participants fight so hard to stay on the show?

Partly because they know what happens after they go home.

Between the stresses of daily living and the familiarity of their surroundings – with all its long-standing triggers and relationships – there’s room for their addictions and bad habits to take root all over again.

Almost nobody survives this test.

Thus is the power of ENVIRONMENT, and why it precedes behavior.

Think of it this way…

If you’ve got fifty pounds to lose in the first place, it’s because you live in a fifty-pounds-to-lose house or apartment, and are conditioned by fifty-pounds-to-lose patterns.

How would your surroundings look if you’d already lost the weight?

A shilling says, if you merely opened your fridge, you could cherry pick the obvious differences.

When you change…your environment changes.

Alcoholics who are serious about their recovery don’t hang out in bars.  Nor do they keep bottles of vodka in their cupboards – at least not at first.  They purge their surroundings of alcohol until their recovery has had the chance cement itself.  They form new, supportive relationships (e.g. go to AA meetings), and shun those connected with their substance abuse.  And while their sobriety can be fragile at times, their commitment is measured by the kind of external changes they implement.

Similarly, when it comes to weight loss, how you organize yourself is more important than how much willpower you have.

The Biggest Loser proves that.

The reason such stratospheric weight loss is possible, is the same reason it doesn’t last.

Of course, the show’s kinda like the Siberia of weight loss programs.

The good news is you can borrow its trademark success secret without turning your life into a prison camp.

I’ll show you how at my Lean For Life talk on May 17th in Liberty Village:

=>Click here to register & save your spot.

Auto-pilot is a strong word…but you too can achieve your goals with greater certainty – and staying power – when you embrace this simple rule of human behavior.

Happy Losing,

Conor Kelly

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