A hideously profitable Halloween tip

Behold:

The Muscle’s House Of Email Horrors

Inspired by the great Ben Settle, I penned charming Halloween themed emails for each of my clients that exposed several of their market’s “monsters” to being staked, burned or exorcised…with my client cast as the Van Helsing of their industry.

In the health industry you had the ever-present Sugar-Feeding Succubus.

“This seductive creature derails even the most disciplined eater with the constant contribution of cakes, candies, and other sugary menaces to the office environment. Trouble is, as soon as you trap one, another one springs up in its place.”

In the fitness niche,

We featured the terrifying CrossFit Kobold.

“This awful demon is very aggressive and is part of a bizarre cult.  Beware, he uses strange expressions like ‘brah’ and ‘swole’ a lot, so you may not understand him.”

Computers?

We warned of the encroaching Hacking Hellhounds.

“These vicious dogs are dripping with blood and foaming at the mouth, looking for their next victim.  They worm their way into your computer by infecting it with their virus-ridden bite…then they steal or corrupt your data!  No fair!”

Heck, we even dropped “supply chain monsters” on electric utilities across America.

Check out the Phantom Supplier:

“This apparition only looks reliable.  In reality, it’s almost never there when you need it.  It’s called a phantom because when you question it, almost all of its credibility disappears behind a white sheet of excuses.”

Some other faves included…

*The Creature From The Couch Lagoon (Health)

*Fake Virus-Alert Vampire (Computers)

*The Zumba Zombie (Fitness)

*The Misinformation Mummy (Chiropractic)

Two things:

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this is about constantly finding new and engaging ways to get your point across.

Boredom is death to a sale.

Second, while in this case we’re dramatizing and having a little fun, each one of these monsters is a real problem my clients’ respective markets have.  When you’re focused on your prospect’s problems, you can do almost everything else wrong, and you still won’t lose them.  Add to the mix teasing your solution like the reader’s stuffing dollar bills in your g-string…

And you’ve got yourself a recipe for profits that are just plain spooky.

Well, that does it for this particularly creepy foray into the blogosphere.

I’m not currently taking on new clients (all booked up for now).

But if you’d like, click the link below to add your name to The Muscle’s wicked waiting list, and you’ll be one of the first to be notified when ghoulish spot opens up:

Add your name to the list.

Happy Halloween!

Conor “Hellspawn” Kelly

Canadian Strengthsgiving

_MG_0079

Ten years ago this very day…

Yours Muscularly pulled a 28,000-pound school bus in Yonge-Dundas Square in Toronto (like Toronto’s ‘Times Square’) to raise money and awareness for TFSS, an organization dedicated to feeding hungry students in Toronto schools.

At the time I was running a personal training biz.

Some high-school kids found me online and invited to be a part of a presentation on nutrition they we’re doing for their class.

I accepted.

What I wasn’t prepared for was their statistics on malnourished youth, poverty, and hunger in Toronto schools.  I know how important the right nutrition is for health and brain power.  And didn’t think these kids were getting a fair shake.  So I decided to do something about it.

I found the charity and approached them with this crazy idea.

To my surprise, they loved it.

It was going to be ideal as part of Feeding Hungry Students Week, their big fundraiser and publicity push each year, which was about 11 weeks away.

Now I’d done vehicle pulls during my competitive career as a strongman.  But since retiring from the sport five years prior I’d hadn’t approached anything that resembled that level of training.  I was 170 pounds (compared with my competition weight of 220).  I’d have 11 weeks to train for it (I ended up gaining over 20 pounds during that stretch)…all while planning and organizing the event.

What followed was one of the craziest and most rewarding journeys of my life.

(I’ve been thinking I should write a book about it.)

Why do I bring this up?

Well, first it’s my 10-year Strengthaversary.

So it’s been on my mind.

And second, it was perhaps the most successful marketing campaign (and certainly the most successful from a media coverage standpoint) I’ve ever produced.  There wasn’t a single major media outlet in Toronto that didn’t cover it.  I was on TV, Radio, and in newspapers.  Sometimes all three at once…or at least that’s how it felt.  All wearing gear branded to my business, and all referring to me as ‘the owner of Evolution Fitness in Toronto’.  And that night, we we’re on the 6 o’clock news on EVERY channel.

For the charity, the figure was something like $20,000 raised.  Plus, they’d never had that kind of media attention for their programs.  They were thrilled.

Here’s the point:

It was unique hook (with a sensationalist twist).

Even cold-calling the busiest and most jaded editors and producers…with their phones ringing, their inboxes full and deadlines dropping…when I told them what I was up to they’d stop and say:

“I’m listening…”

I might well share a few marketing lessons from this experience over the next little while.

For starters, how can you model this idea for your business?  Let’s consider the possibility that you can’t pull a bus.  Totally ok.  Could you put on your own charity fundraiser and add to it an element of the extraordinary?  Could you make an offer that no one else in your industry is willing to make?  Could you be the ‘whistle-blower’ who calls out the nefarious practices of big companies in your industry?

(That last strategy landed me my first interview on national television when I promised to expose the big gyms dirty, dirty ways.)

Point is:

Yes, you need people to care…

But first you need their attention.

This is a rule not only of marketing, but of all forms of persuasive communication.

Alright, that’s enough for now.

I’m shipping off soon as it’s Thanksgiving Weekend here North of the border.

In honor of that day ten years ago, random acts of kindness, and all things strength and/or marketing I do hereby dub this day Strengthsgiving.  May yours be full of high-quality proteins…

With a delicious side-helping of creamy, fluffy generosity.

Hungry yet?

🙂

Happy Strengthsgiving,

Conor Kelly

P.S.  Unfortunately, I don’t have any footage of the event of I’d share it with you.  I’m working on getting some archival footage from one of the various media outlets.  Stay tuned.

 

Let me show you what my middle finger does

My soon-to-be 7-year-old the other day…

In reference to her cross-country meet – which took place on a very cold, very wet October day here in Toronto – had this to say:

“It was so freezing yesterday…I kept thinking ‘I’ll show this wind my middle finger!’”

I rather like it.

It’s got a certain wisdom and youthful defiance to it.

(Cue the Twisted Sister, “We’re not gonna take it…”)

So I’ve decided I’m going to show more of the things that challenge me a Muscular middle finger.

I invite you to do the same.

It’s simple advice, but it applies almost anywhere.

(Key word: almost.  Use your own discretion on that one.)

Just a little Tuesday inspiration for ya.

And if you have a sales letter that’s not converting…or your emails aren’t getting as many opens and clicks as you’d like…or you’ve got a copywriter who prefers grandstanding on Facebook to turning in projects on time…

Then let’s join forces and show them four middle fingers, way up:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

Happy Defying,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a The Muscle

#1 reason to build an email list so loyal they’ll eat sheep’s testicles for you

I’ll be honest…

Yours Muscularly is of the mind that many small biz owners have been “conned” by social media companies promising the moon.

For most, it’s naught more than time and energy quicksand that sucks in the helpless and spits out their weary remains.

While Facebook claims 2 Billion accounts…a full 25% of those are fake.  Email, on the other hand, boasts a hefty 6.32 Billion active accounts, making it 5x bigger than Facebook.

I could also point out that many people go days without checking their social media, yet the average person checks their email multiple times per day.

If I really wanted to make a statement I could add that 60% of business owners rate email as their most profitable marketing channel, more than all the various social media sites combined.

All that would be 100% true.

But the #1 reason to build a thriving email list?

You OWN your list.

It’s yours.

You can download that sucker and re-upload it somewhere else.  You can communicate with your list in the manner of your choosing.  There’s no one who can tell you otherwise.  And there’s no one who can take your list away from you.

You don’t own your social media followers.

If that’s all you’ve got – you’re one policy update away from dead.

Case in point, five years ago I was getting most of the leads for my personal training biz from Google Adwords.  One fine day, Google up and suspended my account.  In order to reactivate it, I needed to add an asterisk with the words “results may vary” under each of the dozens of REAL before-and-after pics and testimonials displayed on my site.

Not only did this make my site look silly…

It sent my conversion rate spiraling down the drain.

And the leads all but dried up.

De-platforming is happening with frightening regularity.  What’s to stop Instagram from following Google’s lead and saying e.g. “we don’t like weight loss products – too scammy,” then make the rules harder for an entire category of health-related marketers?

An email list – especially a responsive one – is an asset.

Arguably the best asset you can have.

Enter my Evergreen List Builder

I created this custom product a couple of months ago to help my clients with the problem of consistently adding high-quality new leads to your subscriber list.  And it’s quickly become my most popular offering.  It’s not hard to see why.

This is my answer to the moving target that is online marketing.

I’ll be honest, it’s not the fastest way to build your list, but the leads are the highest quality.

Also, because my list builder is centered on free traffic, there’s some sweat equity required on your part.  Such is life.  But if you’re willing to put in a little leg work, the tools I’m going to provide you could be nothing less than a blueprint to double your business this year.

My clients and me are using them to generate 50-200 new subscribers per month, for free.

If you’d like to consistently add top quality leads to your database without dancing to Google’s or Facebook’s ever-changing tune, let’s jump on a stress-free brainstorm call and find out if you qualify:

https://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome/

Happy List-Building,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a The Muscle @ Marketing Muscle

 

A cheeky way to create content on the fly

Watch this.

If you’re ever pressed for time or short on ideas, here’s an easy way to drum up great content lickety-split.

What is it?

You simply quote an expert in your niche or industry and add your comments.

On that note, here’s something CBC Radio Host Terry O’Reilly wrote in Marketing Lessons from Under the Influence which I think sums up the power of email marketing quite nicely:

“A well-timed nudge is a sophisticated aspect of marketing that is usually the exclusive domain of big advertisers.  But small to medium marketers can also take advantage of nudges if you recalibrate your thinking to look for opportunities.  There are endless reasons people don’t buy an item, even though they are teetering on the edge of making a purchase.  Often, I’ve said if the dealership had just called me one more time, I would have bought that car.  Or if a store had thrown in the speaker wire for free, I would have bought that stereo.  Or if the salesperson had spent five more minutes with me, I would have bought two shirts instead of one.”

OR [my words now]…

What if the restaurant, spa, yoga studio, chiropractor, or real estate agent had followed up with me in a format I find both useful and enjoyable – that I had chosen to receive – and enticed me to do business with them more often, when the time is right for me?  If I liked the place would it make me a more active, loyal, and engaged customer?

You betcha.

There’s simply no better way to do this than with the “drip marketing” of monthly, weekly, or daily emails.

Did you catch what I just did there?

Hehe.

Cheeky indeed.

Here’s the best part…

Not only are you providing valuable insight, but your reader’s brain unconsciously registers the idea as coming from you.  In that sense, as long as you give credit you can legally and ethically borrow this great mind’s credibility while riding shotgun on his/her illustrious coattails.

Good tip.

Use it.

If you’d like done-for-you emails that nudge your prospects and customers to do a lot more business with you, get your stress-free brainstorm call to find out if you’re a fit:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

Happy Quoting,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a. The Muscle @Marketing Muscle