Take a minute and read the ad above.
This one caught my eye while riding the subway the other day.
Can you tell what’s missing?
Let’s come back to that.
First, the good (or at least decent):
Not a bad headline, although it could probably be better. The “Did you know” with the statistic used is what I call a ‘catch all’. It paints with a broad stroke how the ad’s content could be relevant to anyone on the train. The amazon review is also a great way to do social proof. And I like the “common causes of dehydration” as it supports the claim in the headline.
Subconsciously, riders are reading this going, “I travel, I drink…maybe I’m dehydrated.”
Now the bad and the ugly:
What’s being promised here? There’s no real benefit.
For starters, dehydration can lead to fatigue, poor mental performance, higher toxicity, faster aging of skin, headaches, dizziness, poor digestion and…wait for it…a slow metabolism. You can’t stop at telling them why they’re dehydrated. You’ve got to connect the dots for them so they know precisely what it means.
Better hydrated they can:
Boost energy…
Look younger…
Think better…
They’re in dehydration ‘hell’ right now.
Show them heaven.
Heck, you might even drink more water today just based off my short paragraph of ‘harms’ above. Those could easily be bullet points in the ad and would not take up much space.
No doubt you can see how any of the above might give this puppy an ROI-enhancing facelift.
But the simple 5-minute “trick” that will juice up the response from this ad without changing anything else?
Survey says…
Having a call to action.
What do they want us to DO here?
Not clear at all.
Sure, the Amazon review would suggest you could find the product there, but that’s simply too much homework to lay on people who are rushed, distracted by their phones, or merely avoiding making eye contact. Even “Visit this website” with a URL would probably beat what’s there now. A web address with a promo code to get a limited-time discount…even better.
And maybe a QR code so they could scan a digital coupon direct to their phone.
Which leads me to the rub:
If there’s any confusion about what action you want your prospects to take in your ads, your emails, or when landing on your website, guess what? You’re that much less likely to get any action whatsoever. Don’t leave it to them to put two and two together. Tell them EXACTLY what you want them to do.
Spurn this advice at your ownrisk.
Those are just a few potential ‘upgrades’ that jumped out at me while staring at this ad for a few minutes between Ossington and Bay stations on Toronto’s Bloor line.
Imagine what I could do if I had two solid hours to spend on your marketing. 😉
With that in mind, if you’d like me to perform one of my signature Mini Power Critiques on your website (or your sales letter, or your email campaign) here’s how it works:
I spend a couple of hours on your website then I send you detailed notes, along with a screen capture video, that outlines every last one of my recommendations to help you get more conversions, leads and customers – and jack up the ROI you get from any advertising you currently do. I’ll even throw in suggestions for taglines, headlines, bullets, or other hooks that’ll inevitably occur to me.
The cost for this goodness is just $275USD.
And if your pulse is not already a bit faster, here’s what I’ll do:
If you book (and pay for) your website critique before Friday March 6th at 6PM, and you end up hiring me to do a re-write, I’ll credit this amount toward my fee. In that sense, you’ll have gotten to drink of the fruit of my knowledge for free.
If you’re interested, go to my calendar below and book a time to tell me a little about your business, your current situation, and the item you’d like reviewed and we’ll take it from there:
http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome
That does it for today’s muscular installment.
Mind ye this hallowed rule:
Let no marketing leave the door WITHOUT a call to action.
Happy Commuting,
Conor Kelly
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“With just a few short questions Conor was able to come up with a marketing plan that’s perfectly customized to my goals and my strengths. He’s very knowledgeable, and has great instincts!”
–Amirali Rahnamoon, Osteopath at IN and OUT Fitness
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