5 Anti-tips for your best summer body

I used to write a lot of lists.

‘6 tips for x…’

‘4 ways to do y…’

It was the format for several of my most popular emails.

Problem is I’m easily bored.  Lists are overdone.

Anyway, the notion of anti-tips jolted my cerebral cortex into bringing forth what follows.

Here’s how it doth work:  do the exact opposite of what I recommend here, and you’ll b-line it straight for a lean summer body with a coke and a smile.  Minus the coke.

I think you get the idea.

Let’s begin…

1. Eat as much of it as you want as long as it’s healthy.  Healthy food is high in nutrients when compared with fast-food, for example.  Ever noticed how you can railroad empty calories at a mighty clip? That’s because they don’t contain any real nutrition, so you’re body barely registers any satiety.

Non-processed, organic, high-fiber foods are so nutrient-dense that your body thrives on much lower intake levels.  This mirrors the sparse nourishment we received when we first evolved the ability to derive energy from plants and animal flesh.

But if some is good, more is better…right?

Besides, the plump lady behind the lunch counter says I can eat as much quinoa salad as I want because it’s healthy – so it MUST be true.

2. Try a RE-tox diet.  You want to enjoy the fine weather and the fresh air.  The last thing you need is a bunch of washroom breaks slowing you down.  Keep your water consumption to a minimum, and avoid anything high in fiber.  Also, you might like the binding properties of copious amounts of cheese.

Keep that colon on lockdown until the fall.

3. Use a pro-inflammatory approach.  One thing you’d really hate is if your joint pain lessened to the point of inspiring you to be more active.  Really cuts into your investment of sunbathing time.  Just remember the four food groups: pizza, ice cream, beer, and cigarettes.  In fact, eat as much sugar as possible – raw, off a spoon, if need be.

The average Canadian eats 68 kilos of sugar per year.

Ask yourself, are you getting behind?

4. Avoid heavy weights.  God forbid you should build any muscle that might turn your metabolism into a blast-furnace for burning calories.  Then you’d lose your excuse for all that healthy food in #1.  Plus everyone knows that heaps of long, slow walking is how you lose weight.

5. Sleep less, and ‘freak out’ more.  Stress is good for you.  Ever heard of ‘fight or flight’?  Burns fat.  Burns muscle too, and runs your organs on overdrive, but heck, nobody’s perfect.  To really accentuate the effect, fly into a rage at every opportunity (I mean really lose your s**t), and load your system with as much caffeine as possible.

Sleep only when desperate.

Healthy sleeping patterns of seven or more hours per night render #’s 1, 3, and 4 less effective.

Now if your brain hurts from twisting my hints to figure out what I really mean, you’re either taking #5 literally, or you’ll benefit from the un-reversed truths in my 16-Week Transformation Program. 

Call (416) 826-4844 to request your complimentary personal training consultation, and discover the path to your best body – in all seasons.

Happy Freaking Out,

Conor Kelly

The unexpected but not surprising benefit of my recent fat loss

Reason #697 for losing fat…

As if you needed more incentive to join the lean body brigade, let me regale you with a brief anecdote.

We’re in the final push for the finish line of the Muscletech body transformation challenge.

Well, Raya is.  I’m on board out of solidarity.

And vanity.  Let’s be honest.

It’s a 13-week physique challenge with personal pride, bragging rights, and some handsum moolah on the line too.

So far I’m down 12 pounds and about 5% bodyfat (according ye olde eyeball test).

Here’s where things get hella interesting…

Several chronic injuries have mostly, if almost magically, disappeared.  Plantar fasciitis, gone.  Elbow tendinitis, gone.  Bicep tendinitis, gone.

To what do I attribute this miracle?

I’m a spiritual man, but I don’t think this is God’s doing per se…although I’m sure he signed off on it.  No, I wasn’t healed by the grace of a higher power.  No crucifix toting evangelist has held his palm to my forehead in an attempt to hasten the departure of evil spirits (“The power of Christ compels you!  The power of Christ compels you!!”)

Instead, I treated my wounds by reeling in my body’s own healing power, namely, inflammation.

Yes Grasshopper.

It’s a little known fact that fat cells are store houses for pro-inflammatory compounds known as cytokines.  As a person gains fat, inflammation can begin to rage out of control, spilling over into all manner of symptoms, from joint pain, to fatigue, to the disease axis of diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease.

Maintaining a lean physique is a key tactic in preventing your body’s natural immune response from escalating to destructive levels.

The elixir of which I currently partake is a potent mix of anti-inflammatory eating, regular INTENSE exercise, shunning alcohol, and – dumping body fat like yesterday’s trash.

You too may drink of this earthly grail, my child.

You need only learn my secrets to banish inflammation, activate your DNA, and express the lean form which you were meant to inhabit.

These very secrets are the basis of my 16-week body transformation program.

Find out if it’s a fit for you.

Call (416) 826-4844 to request your complimentary personal training consultation.

And may the demon of whatever “-itis” torments you fear my secular ways…

Happy Inflammation-Busting,

Conor The Demon Slayer

The Biggest Loser Rule

For years, America’s ‘heavyweights’ have duked it out in reality TV’s equivalent of a science experiment gone drastically wrong.

The Biggest Loser pits obese men and women against each other in a battle of who can lose most absurd amount of weight.

Aside from airing some oversized dirty laundry, contestants are subjected to an intense regime.

First, they’re whisked away from their families and made to share a house with a bunch of strangers.  Then they’re put on an extremely strict, calorie-controlled diet.  Finally, they’re abused in all sorts of ways by well-meaning trainers with a penchant for theatrics.  All the while, the carrot of a 250K grand prize is dangled in front of their pale, mouth-breathing faces.

This ritual continues for weeks, with routine weigh-ins and the obligatory emotional breakdowns.

The only thing about the process that’s not extreme is the rate at which the losers regain the weight after the final episode wraps.  In fact, it mirrors exactly what happens to most people who attempt to lose weight in the privacy of their own homes.

Why do participants fight so hard to stay on the show?

Partly because they know what happens after they go home.

Between the stresses of daily living and the familiarity of their surroundings – with all its long-standing triggers and relationships – there’s room for their addictions and bad habits to take root all over again.

Almost nobody survives this test.

Thus is the power of ENVIRONMENT, and why it precedes behavior.

Think of it this way…

If you’ve got fifty pounds to lose in the first place, it’s because you live in a fifty-pounds-to-lose house or apartment, and are conditioned by fifty-pounds-to-lose patterns.

How would your surroundings look if you’d already lost the weight?

A shilling says, if you merely opened your fridge, you could cherry pick the obvious differences.

When you change…your environment changes.

Alcoholics who are serious about their recovery don’t hang out in bars.  Nor do they keep bottles of vodka in their cupboards – at least not at first.  They purge their surroundings of alcohol until their recovery has had the chance cement itself.  They form new, supportive relationships (e.g. go to AA meetings), and shun those connected with their substance abuse.  And while their sobriety can be fragile at times, their commitment is measured by the kind of external changes they implement.

Similarly, when it comes to weight loss, how you organize yourself is more important than how much willpower you have.

The Biggest Loser proves that.

The reason such stratospheric weight loss is possible, is the same reason it doesn’t last.

Of course, the show’s kinda like the Siberia of weight loss programs.

The good news is you can borrow its trademark success secret without turning your life into a prison camp.

I’ll show you how at my Lean For Life talk on May 17th in Liberty Village:

=>Click here to register & save your spot.

Auto-pilot is a strong word…but you too can achieve your goals with greater certainty – and staying power – when you embrace this simple rule of human behavior.

Happy Losing,

Conor Kelly

Possibly the greatest thing ever

Have you heard of Shmoop.com?

The website bills itself as a Shakespearean Translator capable of turning your speak – or modern English – into eternal Shakespeare-isms.

For instance, typing *whoa, dude, pass that pizza over here, I’m going to starve* into the translator begets *Heigh-ho, broth’r, passeth that ‘zza ov’r hither, lest I waste away.*

Trolling the internet has never sounded so classy.

‘Twas heard most wondrous comments…

“Thy conclusions art unfounded and maketh no sense, thou knowest not wherefore thou writeth, knave.”

“Where’d thee receiveth thy science sir, or better hath said quack speaketh!”

“I’ve done mine research on thee, thou art a snakeoil salesman and filthy canker-blossom!!”

And my personal fave…

“A plague upon this howling, thee venomous fustilarian!”

That last bit was Shakesperean for “Give it up, you venomous douchebag.”

My life is now complete.

What does this have to do with your fitness program?

Research shows that laughter reverses the chemical effects of stress and releases anti-inflammatory compounds in the body.

And persistent inflammation is an impediment to losing fat.

In one study, watching an hour of humorous videos reduced the size of allergic reactions on the subjects’ skin by 50%!

So just by reading this post you’ve probably jettisoned a few fat grams.

(That’s assuming you think the Shmoop thing is as funny as I do.)

But there are only so many slimming blog posts I can write.

For any inflammation or fat I’ve missed, there’s my Lean For Life talk in Liberty Village on May 17th:

=>Click here for details & to register.

And let this be a reminder to not take yourself too seriously today.

Find opportunities to laugh.

Your health (and your waistline) will thank you for it.

Here’s to thy health mine cousin,

Conor Kelly




The ravages of low testosterone

Today, a topic that’s near and dear to my heart…

El Testosteron-e.

Did you know testosterone is the primary hormone responsible not only for libido (in both men and women) but is also essential to normal emotions of self-confidence, friendliness, affection, and joy?

You got it, Esse…if your Test languishes, it can make you straight loco.

And we’re in the midst of a testosterone crisis.

In the U.S. alone it’s estimated that 1 in 4 men are completely impotent.  That’s a twofold increase in the last half-century!  And it’s a doomsday for our *swimmers*.  If sperm counts continue to dry up at the current rate, within three generations we’ll no longer be able to reproduce as a species.

In women, the effects are just as tangible.  Clinics in both Europe and North America report that roughly half of all women suffer from low libido.

But the decline in sexy time, and the desert of infertility are only the start of our problems.

This testosterone shortage is slowly turning us into a society of wimps, barely capable of courage, leadership – even love.

We’re being chemically neutered.

Driven to depression and lethargy.

What’s causing it?

A nasty cocktail of unnecessary surgeries, prescription medications, pollutants, and industrially manufactured food that’s not much more than a distant echo of the nutritious fare we evolved on.

But uno momentito, here’s the good news…

We can sober up from this dreary, sexless haze with a few smart lifestyle changes.

One of them happens to be my specialty.

Losing bodyfat.

Yes my friend, adipose tissue (as I like to call it when I’m being fancy) houses an enzyme called aromatase, which converts testosterone to estrogen – causing your t-levels to tank.  With less bodyfat, you’re more likely to have a healthy balance of both, and live a happier, more confident, and let’s not forget sexier life.

Mm hm…SiEs muy bueno.

I teach how to permanently get rid of said fat at my Lean For Life workshop in Liberty Village on May 17th:

=>Click here for details & to register.

Come prepared for a testosterone-boosting and life-enhancing experience.

Don’t let modern living take your balls…metaphorically speaking.

You can fight back against the scourge of low testosterone.

And you can WIN.

To A Testosterone-Fueled Life,

Conor Kelly

Why diets don’t work

It’s hard to believe that in this day and age the human machine would require anything such as a famine response.

At least not in first-world countries, where the existence of 24HR drive-thrus and grocery stores ensures ’round the clock access to food for anyone with a method of payment.

But there wasn’t always an oasis of perfectly preserved foods, neatly organized into categories, and placed on refrigerated shelves within easy reach.

When we first evolved…times were tough.

Food was scarce.  Tools were primitive.

Finding sustenance for our mortal coil presented its own unique challenges.

Hence, our bodies developed a mechanism to cope with starvation, by slowing down our metabolism to conserve energy.

Presto – famine response.

This protective device enabled our organism to stockpile energy and fat calories at higher rate, so we’d survive shortages.

Even today, your body can’t tell the difference between intentional deprivation (i.e. diets) and genuine starvation.

Beyond the universal imperative of hunger, it adopted other ways of motivating us.  For example, when blood glucose falls below the desirable threshold, signals communicated through dendrites, transported along axons, and transferred between nerve cells by neurotransmitters – send information to your brain about this sad state of affairs.  The result surfaces in your mind as a craving.

Not only can cravings be powerful, but when brain glucose drops, our resistance to hunger crumbles.

Willpower goes out the window.

Genetically speaking, all the rules are dead set against us ever being successful at dieting.

And the stats bear it out too.

1 in every 3 Canadians report being actively engaged in some sort of diet program.  Yet, more than 50% of our population is considered unhealthily overweight.   In fact, any person that tries to lose weight through dieting is statistically more likely to GAIN weight in the long run.

Never.  Diet.  Again.

‘Tis the lesson for today.

As of this moment, I relieve you of this harmful habit.

Instead, eat according to what science tells us your body needs (your palate will adjust – trust me), work out with weights to preserve lean muscle, train your heart and nervous system with the right combination of high and medium intensity cardio, and focus on flexibility to forge fluid movement mechanics that enhance every activity you love.

Do that – and the fat takes care of itself.

Sound simple?

It’s not.

That’s why I created my Lean For Life talk, which I’m presenting at Physiomed on April 25th:

Click here for details & to save your seat.

I’ll help you exorcise the demons of information overload and time scarcity, and cut to heart of what really works to get you feeling great again.

Until then…

Happy Eating,

Conor Kelly

Give up the willpower binge

Did you know you have a limited supply of decision-making power?

That’s right, research shows willpower is like a muscle…it fatigues, and eventually refuses to cooperate altogether.

The more decisions you make in any given day, the more you deplete your willpower stores.

Yet, most people attempt to form new habits (e.g. eating well, exercising) by willing themselves to it.

And it don’t work.

That’s why I recommend abstinence in making choices.  Quit dispensing your willpower in such a willy-nilly way.  Restrict yourself to high-leverage acts of will, and instead of trying to moderate your minute-by-minute behaviours, focus on applying what I call *context changes*.

A context change is a change to your environment.

The reason it’s so powerful, is you apply a little determination ONCE, and it pays off over and over again.

Eee Gee

One of my most harped upon nutrition strategies is food prepping.  Why?  It’s a high-leverage, high-upside decision.  Sure you’ve gotta convince yourself to make time to cook and pack meals.  But that one move saves you having to make 6-10 individual choices you’d otherwise encounter if you didn’t already have meals and snacks on hand.  Standing at many repeated crossroads will eventually leave you tapped out in the good-decision-making department.

You’d be binging on your own willpower.

Example numero dos

Let’s say you want to walk more.  One way is to simply tell yourself you’re going to walk more, and daily match wits with the devil on your shoulder and his compelling case for collapsing on the couch instead.

The other is to not buy a metropass, so you’re forced to walk to and from work each day.

Again, one choice vs. many.


Got a weakness for potato chips?

Perform a Lays-ectomy on your kitchen cupboards.  You might still eat them, but at least you don’t have to stare temptation in the face so often that it erodes your judgment.

Is any of this advice new?

Maybe not in the specifics.  But I’ll wager the concept behind it has never been placed before you in such a neatly wrapped package.  Once you get the thought-process behind the examples above, you can see with new lenses any area in which your actions often betray your goals.

What context change can you implement?

How can you make better choices by making fewer choices?

I cover this in full detail, along with several other BREAKTHROUGH concepts at my Lean For Life talk on April 25th:

=>Click here for details & to save your seat.

Don’t miss it.

Hear me, ye faithful…

Forsake thy binge.

Ration thy willpower, and thou shalt not hunger.

To A Low-Willpower Diet,

Conor Kelly

Should you lift heavy weights if you’re older?

A few weeks ago I celebrated Easter in the traditional way – by drinking Tequila, and smoking Cuban cigars with my Irish Dad.

As the aromatic tendrils of cigar smoke swirled about us, he let fly a bombshell of epic proportions.

It turns out my Grandmother’s paternal Grandfather was English.

After some not-so-quick math I realized this makes me one sixteenth English.


(As one client, also of Irish descent put it, “I’m sorry to hear that.”)

All those years of obsessively watching The Black Adder and Fawlty Towers suddenly make sense!

The upshot is I can now legitimately add British insults to my already formidable arsenal of putdowns.  And according to Anglotopia.net, it’s scientifically proven that any insult is 100x better when spoken with a British accent.  The website lists classics like twit, wanker, and lazy sod, as well as lesser known beauts such as trollop (a lady of questionable morals), and my personal favorite, Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys (The French).

While the kettle boils for me tea and crumpets, let’s dig into today’s content, shall we?

A client reports:

“I’ve had two people this week tell me ‘you shouldn’t use heavy weights if you’re older.’”

First, let me point out that the client in question is strong, lean and fit-looking, and you’d have to be daft as a bush – crazy – or a complete tosser to criticize his health habits.

Second, older is broad.  What does that mean?  For our purposes I’m gonna say *over 50*.   (I’ve gotta draw the line somewhere.  Don’t get your knickers in a bunch.)

Third, heavy compared to what?

I’d never suggest anyone, regardless of age, lift beyond what they can achieve with good form.

But, other things being equal,  I’ll sing the sweet praises of  progressive resistance training (done correctly) until the cows come home.  That’s because there’s a whole lotta legit science certifying the benefits of heavy-for-you lifting as we get older.

It maintains hormone levels, bone density – even cognition and memory.  It lowers bodyfat, and prevents most forms of degenerative disease.  It combats inflammation responsible for achy joints, chronic fatigue and depression.  And strength holds everything together, allowing you to move the way you want to and minimize injuries.

One of the world’s leading anti-aging experts, Dr. Michael Colgan, regularly trains with near max weights.  He’s 77, 10% bodyfat, and does one-arm pushups on stage at speaking engagements!  Jack Lalanne was known to pump iron on the daily until he died at 96.

Even big Hollywood stars are in on the action.  Clint Eastwood could chest press 100 pound dumbbells for 12 reps at age 75!

In fact, research indicates that you can’t get the same results with cardio or light weights.

That’s because they’re less effective in building muscle, which you MUST do in order to accomplish all of the above.  We lose on average a quarter of our lean muscle between the ages of 20 and 80.  It’s a BIG factor in the waning vitality that comes with age – if we accept it.

So don’t accept it.

Hit the weight room with enthusiasm.

And the next time some twit suggests you take it easy, you have my permission to tell him to *bugger off*, that he’s *mad as a bag of ferrets*, or *not batting on a full wicket*.

Then go back to the squat rack and bang out your next heavy set – for the Queen’s sake – and don’t be a lazy sod like those cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Anybody who disagrees with me has lost the bloody plot.

If you’d like to maintain vibrant health with advice based on the latest findings – instead of confining yourself to a rocking chair – check out my Lean For Life talk at Physiomed on April 25th:


Discover how to cheat aging and defy the odds by staying lean for life.

It should be a jolly good chin wag…

Anyway, hope to see you there.


Conor Kelly

The *Fitpocalypse* and why most programs fail

Every January determined resolution-ers line up for machines in the cardio section of most health clubs.

By February, the same row of treadmills looks more barren than a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Even in the best of times, obesity research confirms that less than 5% of men and women succeed in losing weight.

Say whaaaaat?

Why do so many fitness programs lie in this graveyard of failed promises?

As any good shrink knows…it’s complicated.

It’s a multi-factorial, non-linear, multi-disciplinary, counter-intuitive…well, let’s just say there’s lots of reasons.

But one of the biggest reasons – as far as I can tell – that we continually fall in and out of love with our *gottalooza daweighta* project, is the same reason useless gizmos, workout videos, fad diets, and fat-burning pills make BILLIONS each year…

We’re looking for a simple fix.

The one shot wonder cure that’ll eliminate all of our fat loss woes.

Trouble is, the body don’t work that way.

It’s a complex organism.  With many moving parts.

Think of a rectangular table.

Four legs.  Each leg supports one corner, and shares the load of whatever’s placed on the table, indeed the table itself, with the other three legs.  What happens if you remove one?  Gets pretty unstable, don’t it?  Two?  You’d be lucky keep that sucker standing.

You see, most people are trying to get fit using one leg when, as I see it, lasting fitness has FOUR.

Focus on one to the detriment of the others and, well, prepare for your table to come crashing down.

What are the four legs?

1. Nutrition, 2. Resistance training, 3. Cardiovascular training, and 4. Mobility training (otherwise known as flexibility).

If you ain’t got all four, you’re doomed – like other casualties of the new year’s Fitpocalypse – to exclusion from Healthtopia (the new world order of the fit) when the nukes fly on February 1st.

Some enlightened programs serve two, maybe even three of the above.

But I’ve never seen ANYTHING that adequately addresses ALL FOUR LEGS needed for a rock solid foundation, and lifelong success with your fitness program.

That’s why I created my 16WK program.

Think of it as a firm but fair immigration policy that eventually wins you permanent residency in Healthtopia.

(Politicians, take note.)

And you don’t even need to scale a fence, dig a tunnel, or bribe a border guard to get in.

Just call me today at (416) 826-4844 for your complimentary personal training consultation.   I’ll see what I can do about speeding up your paper work.

When the Fitpocalypse comes, don’t get caught unprepared, flailing around on just one leg…

Get your table in order, and be one of the lucky 5% that survives.

See you on the other side,

Conor Kelly
(416) 826-4844

Me Og, me lift big thing, burn fat

Scientists estimate 1%-4% of the DNA in European and Central Asian descended peoples is Neanderthal DNA.

Yes indeed…thank you interspecies breeding.

And according to researchers, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.  That’s right, Neanderthal DNA is said to correlate highly with a host of illnesses ranging anywhere from blood-clotting disorders, to obesity.

The obesity connection, I think, supports what I’ve been saying for years about heavier weights being essential to fat loss – contrary to the popular myth that high reps/low weight do the job better.

I’ll explain.

You see, cuz had the prescience to bequeath our species the NEED to LIFT.

(Alright as the former strongman, I might be a tad biased.)

Our bigger, stronger European neighbors  – who were also reputed to have ripped abs…just saying – would have had to regularly move boulders, flip fallen tree trunks, wrassle bears, and club a few saber-tooth tigers (not to mention carrying unconscious females back to their caves).

In other words, their whole day was a workout.

And a heavy one at that.

No wonder their bodies evolved to stockpile calories so effectively.

However, such traits are less useful when you sit behind a desk all day.

That’s why I say, if you can’t beat ‘em…join ‘em!

Throw some big poundage around on the regular.  Or at least ‘big’ relative to your own capabilities. You can’t fight it, it’s in your DNA (Unless you’re not of European/Asian descent, in which case, humor me, it’s still good advice).  The relative intensity and recruitment of fast-twitch muscle fibers that come with lifting near maximal loads will light a prehistoric fire under your metabolism!

Try the SBD (squat, bench, deadlift) workout, adapted from my former sport of powerlifting, and ideal for obliterating fat.  Warm up, then do 4 sets of 8 reps on each lift.  Choose a weight that challenges you, but make sure you can finish all four sets without cheating your reps.  In between each lift, throw in a two and a half minute cardio interval  with a 30 second sprint after the first minute, to simulate running away from a predator…and there you have it, The Neanderthal Workout.  It’s the latest craze to take the industry by storm, soon to be peddled by spray-tanned musclemen and bikini babes in late night infomercials.

Try it especialmente if you belong to the female gender of the species.

Disconnect in your brain the association of lifting weights with BULK.

It’s not real…and frankly a bit nutty.

A stronger female is a leaner female, is a thinner female.

Eventually you’ll possess enough force to turn evolution on its head, overpower the male of your choosing, and drag his limp body back to your woman lair – should that be how you deign to use your newfound powers.

(Can hear Beyonce rallying already…”all my single ladies…all my single ladies…”)

I bid you, go forth…

…Discharge the mighty SBD, and dispatch your fat to the annals of history, like a certain not-too-distant but extinct relative who once wee wee’d in the gene pool.

Og like that.

To Your Ripped Neanderthal Body,

Conor Kelly

P.S.  Learn more about my wily, evolution-busting ways…call or text me today at (416) 826-4844 for your complimentary personal training consultation.