Weird St. Patrick’s Day

This is weird.

As we get set to lather on the green face paint, imbibe all things green, and dance a wee jig in honor of the great Patricius…here are a few strange St. Paddy’s Day facts:

*The original colour worn by Patrick and to mark St. Patrick’s Day…was blue.  It became green the more the party went global – ostensibly due to the Emerald Isle’s greenness, shamrocks, leprechauns, every Irish national sporting uniform ever, and the green in the Irish flag.

*Patrick’s real name was Maewyn.

Very Lord of The Rings.

*Herpetologists – i.e. folks who study reptiles agree that there probably never were snakes in Ireland for Patrick to drive out.  Too cold.  So the snakes of legend are thought to be metaphorical.  At least they weren’t the ironic kind – those smug bastards.

*Once upon a time, in the ol’ U.S. of A. the Irish were considered a migrant crisis.

Good one to remember.

As they poured in to the states on the Eastern seaboard, they were discriminated against harshly.  Now they’re a force in American culture and politics.

#Truth

*The world’s shortest St. Patrick’s Day Parade takes place in Hot Springs, Arkansas and is just 98-feet (or 49 leprechauns) long.

Crucially, this allows for more pub time.

*In the town of O’Neill, Nebraska (named for its Irish founder) residents wear green not only on St. Patrick’s, but on the 17th of every month.  That’s dedication.

*On the tiny Caribbean island of Montserrat, St. Paddy’s Day is a national holiday.  Montserrat boasts a rich Irish and African heritage.

Like me.

(The Conz began in The Ivory Coast.)

*Finally, here’s a clip of one of my fave Conor Kelly productions.  It’s a workout routine I shot while vacationing in Ireland, with just about the most scenic backdrops of any workout video I ever done seen:

Olivia was so inspired she insisted I film her very first Yoga instructional video…

Well that’s all for the weird and the wonderful of the day.

In the words of my ‘bredren’…

May love and laughter light your days

And warm your heart and home.

May good and faithful friends be yours

Wherever you may roam.

May peace and plenty bless your world

With joy that long endures

May all life’s passing seasons

Bring the best to you and yours

Happy St. Patrick’s Day,

Conor Kelly

ENCORE: 5 Anti-Tips For Your Best Summer Body

Just 12 weeks ’til summer.

Perfect time to start thinking about your plan “swimsuit readiness” plan.

I’ll be real, the following tips aren’t likely to help you with any of that.

BUT…I found this in the archives and it made me chuckle.

Should be worth at least a smile to you.

Enjoy!

-Conor

***

I used to write a lot of lists.

‘6 tips for x…’

‘4 ways to do y…’

It was the format for several of my most popular emails.

Problem is I’m easily bored.  Lists are overdone.

Anyway, the notion of anti-tips jolted my cerebral cortex into bringing forth what follows.

Here’s how it doth work:  do the exact opposite of what I recommend here, and you’ll b-line it straight for a lean summer body with a coke and a smile.  Minus the coke.

I think you get the idea.

Let’s begin…

1. Eat as much of it as you want as long as it’s healthy.  Healthy food is high in nutrients when compared with fast-food, for example.  Ever noticed how you can railroad empty calories at a mighty clip? That’s because they don’t contain any real nutrition, so you’re body barely registers any satiety.

Non-processed, organic, high-fiber foods are so nutrient-dense that your body thrives on much lower intake levels.  This mirrors how sparse food was when we evolved the ability to derive energy from plants and animal flesh.

But if some is good, more is better…right?

Besides, the plump lady behind the lunch counter says I can eat as much quinoa salad as I want because it’s healthy – so it MUST be true.

2. Try a RE-tox diet.  You want to enjoy the fine weather and the fresh air.  The last thing you need is a bunch of washroom breaks slowing you down.  Keep your water consumption to a minimum, and avoid anything high in fiber.  Also, you might like the binding properties of copious amounts of cheese.

Keep that colon on lockdown until the fall.

3. Use a pro-inflammatory approach.  One thing you’d really hate is if your joint pain lessened to the point of inspiring you to be more active.  Really cuts into your investment of sunbathing time.  Just remember the four food groups: pizza, ice cream, beer, and cigarettes.  In fact, eat as much sugar as possible – raw, off a spoon, if need be.

The average Canadian eats 68 kilos of sugar per year.

Ask yourself, are you getting behind?

4. Avoid heavy weights.  God forbid you should build any muscle that might turn your metabolism into a blast-furnace for burning calories.  Then you’d lose your excuse for all that healthy food in #1.  Plus everyone knows that heaps of long, slow walking is how you lose weight.

5. Sleep less, and ‘freak out’ more.  Stress is good for you.  Ever heard of ‘fight or flight’?  Burns fat.  Burns muscle too, and runs your organs on overdrive, but heck, nobody’s perfect.  To really accentuate the effect, fly into a rage at every opportunity (I mean really lose your s**t) and load your system with as much caffeine as possible.

Sleep only when desperate.

Healthy sleeping patterns of seven or more hours per night render #’s 1, 3, and 4 less effective.

Now if your brain hurts from twisting my hints to figure out what I really mean, you’re either taking #5 literally, or you’ll benefit from the un-reversed truths in my 16-Week Transformation Program. 

Call (416) 826-4844 to request your complimentary personal training consultation, and discover the path to your best body – in all seasons.

Happy Freaking Out,

Conor Kelly

#1 reason to build an email list so loyal they’ll eat sheep’s testicles for you

I’ll be honest…

Yours Muscularly is of the mind that many small biz owners have been “conned” by social media companies promising the moon.

For most, it’s naught more than time and energy quicksand that sucks in the helpless and spits out their weary remains.

While Facebook claims 2 Billion accounts…a full 25% of those are fake.  Email, on the other hand, boasts a hefty 6.32 Billion active accounts, making it 5x bigger than Facebook.

I could also point out that many people go days without checking their social media, yet the average person checks their email multiple times per day.

If I really wanted to make a statement I could add that 60% of business owners rate email as their most profitable marketing channel, more than all the various social media sites combined.

All that would be 100% true.

But the #1 reason to build a thriving email list?

You OWN your list.

It’s yours.

You can download that sucker and re-upload it somewhere else.  You can communicate with your list in the manner of your choosing.  There’s no one who can tell you otherwise.  And there’s no one who can take your list away from you.

You don’t own your social media followers.

If that’s all you’ve got – you’re one policy update away from dead.

Case in point, five years ago I was getting most of the leads for my personal training biz from Google Adwords.  One fine day, Google up and suspended my account.  In order to reactivate it, I needed to add an asterisk with the words “results may vary” under each of the dozens of REAL before-and-after pics and testimonials displayed on my site.

Not only did this make my site look silly…

It sent my conversion rate spiraling down the drain.

And the leads all but dried up.

De-platforming is happening with frightening regularity.  What’s to stop Instagram from following Google’s lead and saying e.g. “we don’t like weight loss products – too scammy,” then make the rules harder for an entire category of health-related marketers?

An email list – especially a responsive one – is an asset.

Arguably the best asset you can have.

Enter my Evergreen List Builder

I created this custom product a couple of months ago to help my clients with the problem of consistently adding high-quality new leads to your subscriber list.  And it’s quickly become my most popular offering.  It’s not hard to see why.

This is my answer to the moving target that is online marketing.

I’ll be honest, it’s not the fastest way to build your list, but the leads are the highest quality.

Also, because my list builder is centered on free traffic, there’s some sweat equity required on your part.  Such is life.  But if you’re willing to put in a little leg work, the tools I’m going to provide you could be nothing less than a blueprint to double your business this year.

My clients and me are using them to generate 50-200 new subscribers per month, for free.

If you’d like to consistently add top quality leads to your database without dancing to Google’s or Facebook’s ever-changing tune, let’s jump on a stress-free brainstorm call and find out if you qualify:

https://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome/

Happy List-Building,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a The Muscle @ Marketing Muscle

 

High noon in Columbus, Ohio

“It always seems impossible until it is done.” –Nelson Mandela

I’m recovering today.

I’ll explain why in a sec.

First, let me take you all the way back to 1954.

That’s when Roger Bannister became the first human to run a sub 4-minute mile.  Up until that point all the experts had called this feat “physiologically impossible”.  But Bannister was a physician.  He knew that there couldn’t be some arbitrary barrier inscribed in our genes.  So he ignored the critics, and concocted a clever program to float across a mile faster than anyone, ever.

And he did.

Within a year, many runners were going sub-four.

Now, it’s standard at the varsity level.

In 2013, a young upstart in the strength world named Eddie Hall predicted he’d be the first man in history to deadlift (lift a barbell from the floor to standing with it at arm’s length) 500 kilograms (over 1,100 pounds).  And the rest of us went, “Pffft!  Yeah right.”

You see the record at the time was just over 1,000 pounds.

Again, ignoring the critics (or indeed FUELED by them, as he claims) Eddie spread ink all over the record books.  He notched up his own world best by nearly 100 pounds in two and half years and became the first lifter in history to put daylight between 1,100 pounds and the floor, successfully setting the all-time mark.  Note that adding 100 pounds to your deadlift in 2.5 years would be great progress for a novice or an intermediate lifter.  When you already own the world record…it’s completely bonkers.

Could the 1,100 pound barrier be broken again?

This past Friday and Saturday, at The Arnold Classic in Columbus, the world’s top pro strongmen were competing.  And Rogue – a sponsor – put up 50K for anyone with the balls to make the magical limit go the way of spandex.

Former 4-Time World’s Strongest Man Brian Shaw and current World’s Strongest Man, the six-foot-nine Icelander Hafthor Bjornsson (plays The Mountain on Game of Thrones) had posted training lifts on YouTube of 1,025 and 1,041 respectively.  Insert multiple “surprised face” emojis here.  For a strength enthusiast, this is the World Cup Final and we’re going to penalty kicks.

Indeed, my fanboy hysteria nearly required a defibrillator.

(Or a change of gotchies.)

Though it turned out not to be the strengthgasm we were hoping for.

After a routine-looking 1,045-pound lift, Thor – as Bjornsson is known in strongman circles – took 1,105 for a brief ride but couldn’t get it above his knees.   Nobody else was even close.  There may come a day when 1,100-pound deadlifts are more common, but it’s not today.

Anyway, here’s what I observe about all this and that I want you to think about:

For most of us, the things we’re trying to do with our lives are nowhere near this magnitude.

No mystical or genetic barrier exists for our goals.  In 99.9% of cases someone has already demonstrated the inherent possibility of what we want to do.  In fact, many people have – sometimes hundreds, thousands, even millions.  So many men and women have businesses they love, a partner who enriches their life, figure out a way to change their financial circumstances, or come back from illness and shed lots of weight.

It’ll do us good to remember that.

We’re all made of the same “stuff”.

Trust your stuff.

Everything you want is not only possible…

It is DONE.

Keep that in mind in those moments when you doubt yourself.   Remind yourself how truly possible and doable your big goals or your PR’s really are – if you’re being objective about it.

Sometimes, all it takes is giving yourself permission to say “I got this”.

Happy PR-Smashing,

Conor Kelly

P.S.  Ever wonder what an “easy” 1,045-pound lift looks like?

Watch this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1VIZ17ug1k

A cheeky way to create content on the fly

Watch this.

If you’re ever pressed for time or short on ideas, here’s an easy way to drum up great content lickety-split.

What is it?

You simply quote an expert in your niche or industry and add your comments.

On that note, here’s something CBC Radio Host Terry O’Reilly wrote in Marketing Lessons from Under the Influence which I think sums up the power of email marketing quite nicely:

“A well-timed nudge is a sophisticated aspect of marketing that is usually the exclusive domain of big advertisers.  But small to medium marketers can also take advantage of nudges if you recalibrate your thinking to look for opportunities.  There are endless reasons people don’t buy an item, even though they are teetering on the edge of making a purchase.  Often, I’ve said if the dealership had just called me one more time, I would have bought that car.  Or if a store had thrown in the speaker wire for free, I would have bought that stereo.  Or if the salesperson had spent five more minutes with me, I would have bought two shirts instead of one.”

OR [my words now]…

What if the restaurant, spa, yoga studio, chiropractor, or real estate agent had followed up with me in a format I find both useful and enjoyable – that I had chosen to receive – and enticed me to do business with them more often, when the time is right for me?  If I liked the place would it make me a more active, loyal, and engaged customer?

You betcha.

There’s simply no better way to do this than with the “drip marketing” of monthly, weekly, or daily emails.

Did you catch what I just did there?

Hehe.

Cheeky indeed.

Here’s the best part…

Not only are you providing valuable insight, but your reader’s brain unconsciously registers the idea as coming from you.  In that sense, as long as you give credit you can legally and ethically borrow this great mind’s credibility while riding shotgun on his/her illustrious coattails.

Good tip.

Use it.

If you’d like done-for-you emails that nudge your prospects and customers to do a lot more business with you, get your stress-free brainstorm call to find out if you’re a fit:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

Happy Quoting,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a. The Muscle @Marketing Muscle

Fitness Oscar Winners (Best Food, Best Exercise…)

Well I’m no Lady Gaga…

And I don’t have a Green Book.

But I do have many books.

In one of them I read you might like an email I wrote six years ago with my votes for the best of the best in fitness.

This has yet to be proven though, so let’s test my hypothesis…

*****************************

The Oscars are today, and even though I’m allergic to award shows, I do love to dish out recognition…

…When it’s deserved.

So I’ll start with the Lifetime Achievement Award.

Have you heard of this guy?

Fauja Sing, the world’s oldest marathoner, is retiring at the age of, get this, 101!

He’s completed eight marathons since 2000.  I’d say that pretty much eliminates any excuse from anyone aged less than, say, a hundred?

Best Exercise goes to ‘the king of exercises’, the barbell squat. There’s not an inch of your body that’s not fully engaged in a properly executed squat.  And because you’re moving your body through space, it invokes a fear factor that juices up the neuro-muscular activation, leading to faster results.

Dr. Fat Loss says ‘chain yourself to the squat rack and call me in the morning’.

Best Supporting Exercise goes to the plank, a lifesaver for me since I injured a disc in my low back while training for my school bus pull in Dundas Square, back in ’09.

It’ll turn your core into a solid brick wall, ensuring you have the support you need to let a Jeep drive over you (should that be how you choose to utilize your new found powers).

Nevertheless, a pillar-like core is useful in any type of motion or lifting.

Best Food goes to…

…Well, anything that has one ingredient only.

An apple is its own ingredient, a tomato is its own ingredient, organic, free-run eggs are their own ingredients.

See what I’m getting at?

Generally speaking, the longer the list of ingredients, the more likely it’s hurting your health, and making you fat. Whole foods, on the hand, are not trying to be anything, they’re just being themselves. And I respect that.

Best Supporting Food goes to my Cinch shakes and bars.

They fill the gaps between meals, taste delicious, fuel my energy, and they’re almost impossibly low glycemic index, which keeps my body in the fat-burning zone.

I’m quite happy about that.

Hit ‘reply’ if you’d like me to send you a sample.

Best Cheat FoodCheesecake.

Just ’cause.

Damn I love cheesecake.

Best Kids Song…’The Animal Sounds Song’. Granted this has nothing to do with fitness, it’s just cute how, at 3.5 months, Olivia’s face lights up whenever we play it. How often is that? Let’s just say we’ve contributed our quota of the 62 million views it’s got YouTube.

Finally, what awards show would complete without red carpet fashions?

In theory, Jeff and I are shoe-ins for Best Dressed, ’cause that’s just how we roll. But in reality, we can’t hold a candle to Raya on her best day.

(Note to self: make sure Raya reads this.)

Plug these winners into your day to day routine.

Who knows, by next year you could be nominated for Best Transformation.

To Your Success,

Conor Kelly

ConorKelly.com

Drug dealing for fun and profit

True story:

My subject line today was the original title of Tim Ferris’ famous book, The Four Hour Work Week.

Not surprisingly, the publisher said “no way”.

So Tim took it to the court of public opinion.

He used Google Adwords to split test book titles, and thus landed on the phrase that would ultimately brand the book’s cover.

And, sho ‘nuff, the book was a runaway best-seller.

Similarly, here’s a little-known way to probe and uncover your customers’ most fervent appetites.

Watch your open rates.

I don’t mean obsess over them, like some folks do.

I’m well aware there are those who would cast doubt on the accuracy of open rates (Android phones have HTML turned off by default, they say).

And your open rates will vary with the tides.  If you add a lot of new subscribers, or start emailing more frequently, they’ll most likely go down.

I don’t care about all that.

I do think they’re useful as a relative measurement.

Other things being equal, when a subject line gets a higher-than-usual number of opens, there’s something to it.  It may even be the smoke that hints at a wildfire of hot, flaming desire in your market.  Not only can you reuse or recycle it, but it can help inform other marketing decisions as well.

Allow me to demonstrate.

I had a client in the women’s fitness niche who told me her highest ever open rate was for Do You Want to Look like a Fitness Model?

So I said, “Run it again”.

And guess what?

Same result.

Sky-high opens.

In theory, what could she do with said knowledge?

Just off the top of my head (and this all should be tested)…

*Add “Look like a fitness model” as a slogan to her business cards

*Use that same question on flyers, postcards, and in other print advertising

*Test variations of the same in her Facebook or Google ads

*Say these words when talking to prospects on the phone or when meeting people face to face at a luncheon

*Take it a step further and create an 8-week program called Look Like A Fitness Model and sell it to her subscriber list

*And more

The point is open rates can be valuable intel.

When you know the words that make your market’s eyes light up and their mouths water, your messaging becomes tighter and more impactful.  You’ve got the right “drug” to get ‘em hooked on you.

This all can sound a little complicated if you’re new to it.

Would you like me to handle this “marketing stuff” for you?

Book your stress-free brainstorm call to see if you’re a fit:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

Discover your fun and profit (although perhaps not your 4-hour work week)….

Happy Drug Dealing,

Conor Kelly
“The Muscle” @ Marketing Muscle