Robert DeNiro: Legendary Actor, Idiot

Not sure if you caught the Tony Awards last weekend.

But Robert DeNiro caused quite a stir when he opened his segment as a presenter by saying:

“F**k Trump”.

Got a big round of the applause, in fact.

It seems to be quite trendy in Hollywood these days for celebs to use award shows for a little indiscriminate Trump-bashing.

I gotta say…

As a somewhat-impartial Canadian observer (don’t care for the current administration’s tendency to dick with our trade agreements, hence the ‘somewhat’)…

I don’t get it.

Don’t these people understand that every time some pompous wind bag takes a stand on Trump (does anyone really care what DeNiro says?) it ENERGIZES his base.

Yet another member of ‘the elite’ telling us what to think.

(That’s how Trump supporters will take it.)

It’s this kind of stuff that got him elected in the first place.

When will Hollywood get a clue?

They’re playing HIS game.

And last I checked, he’s still President.

Mr. DeNiro, with all due respect, I’ve loved watching your movies over the years, you’re one of our time’s greatest actors, but THIS….not your best performance.

My point is not to defend Mr. Trump.

(Although I daresay DeNiro’s outburst doesn’t add anything intelligent to the conversation.)

I honestly can’t say that I agree with ALL of Trump’s policies.

(Some I do respect.)

Much less his tweets.

But I’ve never underestimated him, like, it seems, 50% of the population.  I was one of the few who called his election victory.  Seriously.  I told several of my clients on the eve of the vote to expect a surprise.

Anyway, that’s enough of this claptrap.

I’m not gonna hold it against ol’ Bob.

I’ll even borrow a page his book:

F**k newspaper ads.

Let’s do email marketing for your biz instead:

Happy Tweeting,

Conor Kelly
The Muscle @Legal Marketing Muscle

P.S.  What’s your take on all this?  Am I wrong??  Leave your comments below, I’m curious.

Would a client-generating machine help your business?

I feel I can share this with you…

I’m not always the most organized cat.

But I can recall a few occasions when I had the whole machine of my fit biz operating at near perfect efficiency.

My trainers had checklists for managing client programs, and reviewed them with their supervisor each week.  My admin had a handle on operations.  My CFO was ‘Count Du Money’.  My salesperson was crushing it.  And my marketing hummed like a finely tuned engine.

I could figuratively not do much more than enter the cockpit, tweak a few dials, and leave.  I remember coming to the office one day and realizing there was literally NOTHING for me to do.  So I went for a walk instead.

Of course, this wasn’t always the case.

(I can count on one hand the # of entrepreneurs I’ve met who’s whole existence is characterized by the utopia I tell of above.  They do exist though.  Bastards.)

Parts break down.

Employees leave.

Systems lapse.

But damn.

For a while there…

Life was goooooood.

That’s why I’m all about SYSTEMS these days.

Seldom will your business run 100% smoothly.

But for starters, what if you could systematize your client-acquisition process?

How much would be it be worth to you to know that new clients and prospects are finding you each and every week, on auto-pilot?

That the pipeline’s full of high-quality leads?

Think of the sheer peace of mind.

THAT’S what Google Adwords is…

It’s a client-generating machine.

A salesperson that’s fully automated and never sleeps.

Want one of those?

You betcha.

If you build it, they (clients) will come:

Sleep well my friend,

Conor Kelly
A.k.a. The Muscle

The REAL reason retail is dying (don’t let this happen to you)

I’d like to share something personal…

I shop at Banana Republic.

(I know, time for a wardrobe upgrade.)

To me, they’ve always been a solid, middle-of-the-road choice where you can get decent quality clothes at none too expensive prices.

On my most recent visit, a couple of things upset thy apple cart of mine attire.

One, they keep changing things around.

I can’t find anything, anymore.

Too much turmoil for this spoon-fed Gen-X’er.

Two, they charged me about 50% more for an item I buy all the time.  I said, “can’t you do something for me?  I usually buy it at ‘x’ price.  There’s promotions on it all the time.”

Alas, no.

Right then and there, I made the decision never to go back.

You see, here’s the real problem with retail: they’re dinosaurs…and the meteor has already hit.  It’s called the information age.  Under pressure from online sellers that are built on internet marketing (which box stores don’t do quite as profitably) they’ve been forced to cut costs to try to compete.  Even the quality of their materials is less these days, I’ve noticed.

The Muscle don’t play that.

I refuse to pay more for a lesser product.

What’s this have to do with your practice?

Everything’s moving online these days.

Heck, people are even ordering groceries from Amazon now.

Anyone who doesn’t have a profitable digital marketing strategy, like now, will soon be helplessly unable to compete with up and comers in their niche who do this competently.

Maybe you’re already feeling the squeeze.

Lots of “mature” professionals are.

They just don’t ‘get’ the whole online thing.

The great news is, y’all don’t need to.

Just get The Muscle in your corner.

Then sit back, have a coke and a smile (well don’t have the coke, it’s really unhealthy for you — personal trainer talking here) and watch your profit margins get fat instead.

Done-for-you emails that get your phone ringing with high-quality new leads and sales in the next 48 hours = thing of beauty.

Keep the Grim Reaper of retail away here:

Don’t be like my jeans.

Stay just the way you are: AWESOME.

Happy Surviving,

Conor Kelly

What 70.9% of consumers say would make them STOP doing business with you

One of my longest suffering victims…er, I mean clients should be a sit-com character.

The one-liners come fast and furious with this dude, I’m tellin’ ya.

We met when he showed up at my doorstep asking about personal training.

I mentioned our 16-week program and he protested.

“That’s too much of a commitment.”

And while I generally wouldn’t take a lesser contract, I was intrigued by his quirkiness.  So I sold him a month’s worth of sessions.  He rolled it over the following month, and the next…and the next…and here we are, eight years later.

Now we laugh about a time when four months was ‘unreasonable’.

Every time his sessions are up (he calls it *pay day*), it inspires another round of witty back and forth between us.

He claims I give him a better session because I haven’t been paid yet.  He threatens to postpone payment another few sessions to keep the heightened love and attention rolling.  I promise to give away his spot because he’s so ‘unreliable’.

It’s all in the spirit of a good laugh.

Retail Marketing Institute recently wrote that 70.9% of customers would STOP doing business with someone and go somewhere else if it was more FUN.

Yes, your clients want results.

But they also want good experiences.

My former head trainer did a masterful job with this.  People loved to do business with him.  Even when booking an intro session over the phone, if the prospect asked “should I bring anything?”, he’d say, “Just your credit card.”  But he was so affable and charming about it he’d invariably get a chuckle followed by a “will do.”

Just planting some seeds here…

How could you do an even better job of creating the kind of experiences that’ll make your clients want to tell others about you?

Good one to chew on.

Hmm…I do have a suggestion.

How about sending your customers two or three emails per week, which, like this note are concise, fun, engaging and deliver a valuable idea or tip — all while promoting YOU or YOUR SERVICES?

Like that one?

Thought so.

Find out how.

Get your Email Income Consultation here:

Happy Funny,

Conor Kelly

How to stand out in your niche like a fart in a library

True story:

I sometimes do my work at the library.

When I’m not at home, it’s the only place I know I won’t be interrupted.

On this particular day, I had set up in the magazine section.  It was deserted until one fellow showed up and started perusing the rack.

Then, suddenly, he fully (and very audibly) let one rip.

Just like that.

No “excuse me”.


It was only the two of us, and there was no chance I hadn’t heard it, but he simply went on about his business like nothing happened.


Anyway, that brings me to today’s marketing tip.

As per my last email, I now offer email copywriting services.

And a very common objection is, “but Muscle, my clients don’t want to hear from me by email.”


They don’t want boring, corporate, blatantly self-promotional emails carpet-bombing their already cluttered inbox.

Howevs, if the messages were concise, fun, engaging, and shared valuable info about a subject that concerns them, you bet your bottom dollar they’d look forward to reading them…

AND buying from them.

Let’s take a look at an example.

Now surely ATTORNEYS couldn’t use this type of marketing.

No, no.

Attorneys need to be taken seriously.

Here again, me thinks this is a symptom of what Dan Kennedy calls *marketing incest*: when everyone just looks at what everybody else in their niche is doing, and copies each other.

One voice in a chorus, drowned out by all the other voices.

If, on the other hand (and this is just off the top of my head), a personal injury attorney were to offer something like this, “Consumer Awareness Guide: 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Dealing With Insurance Companies” and follow up with two short emails per week in a conversational tone, sharing recent success stories or safety tips, or tips on how to read the fine print, all the while opening up about personal stuff and building the relationship…

Don’t you think said attorney would stand out?

Like the aforementioned flatulence in an otherwise quiet corner?

And who would the client call?  Mr. Side-of-the-bus-guy, or their old friend Al, whose emails they enjoy?


Sometimes what’s inside just gotta come out.

Keep your marketing DNA intact, and get more sales: schedule your email income consultation here:

Happy…ahem…well, standing out,

Conor Kelly