Tag: copywriter

[PHOTO] Are you missing this crucial piece in your marketing?

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IMG_1957

Take a minute and read the ad above.

This one caught my eye while riding the subway the other day.

Can you tell what’s missing?

Let’s come back to that.

First, the good (or at least decent):

Not a bad headline, although it could probably be better.  The “Did you know” with the statistic used is what I call a ‘catch all’.  It paints with a broad stroke how the ad’s content could be relevant to anyone on the train.  The amazon review is also a great way to do social proof.  And I like the “common causes of dehydration” as it supports the claim in the headline.

Subconsciously, riders are reading this going, “I travel, I drink…maybe I’m dehydrated.”

Now the bad and the ugly:

What’s being promised here?  There’s no real benefit.

For starters, dehydration can lead to fatigue, poor mental performance, higher toxicity, faster aging of skin, headaches, dizziness, poor digestion and…wait for it…a slow metabolism.  You can’t stop at telling them why they’re dehydrated.  You’ve got to connect the dots for them so they know precisely what it means.

Better hydrated they can:

Boost energy…

Look younger…

Think better…

They’re in dehydration ‘hell’ right now.

Show them heaven.

Heck, you might even drink more water today just based off my short paragraph of ‘harms’ above.  Those could easily be bullet points in the ad and would not take up much space.

No doubt you can see how any of the above might give this puppy an ROI-enhancing facelift.

But the simple 5-minute “trick” that will juice up the response from this ad without changing anything else?

Survey says…

Having a call to action.

What do they want us to DO here?

Not clear at all.

Sure, the Amazon review would suggest you could find the product there, but that’s simply too much homework to lay on people who are rushed, distracted by their phones, or merely avoiding making eye contact.  Even “Visit this website” with a URL would probably beat what’s there now.  A web address with a promo code to get a limited-time discount…even better.

And maybe a QR code so they could scan a digital coupon direct to their phone.

Which leads me to the rub:

If there’s any confusion about what action you want your prospects to take in your ads, your emails, or when landing on your website, guess what?  You’re that much less likely to get any action whatsoever.  Don’t leave it to them to put two and two together.  Tell them EXACTLY what you want them to do.

Spurn this advice at your ownrisk.

Those are just a few potential ‘upgrades’ that jumped out at me while staring at this ad for a few minutes between Ossington and Bay stations on Toronto’s Bloor line.

Imagine what I could do if I had two solid hours to spend on your marketing. 😉

With that in mind, if you’d like me to perform one of my signature Mini Power Critiques on your website (or your sales letter, or your email campaign) here’s how it works:

I spend a couple of hours on your website then I send you detailed notes, along with a screen capture video, that outlines every last one of my recommendations to help you get more conversions, leads and customers – and jack up the ROI you get from any advertising you currently do.  I’ll even throw in suggestions for taglines, headlines, bullets, or other hooks that’ll inevitably occur to me.

The cost for this goodness is just $275USD.

And if your pulse is not already a bit faster, here’s what I’ll do:

If you book (and pay for) your website critique before Friday March 6th at 6PM, and you end up hiring me to do a re-write, I’ll credit this amount toward my fee.  In that sense, you’ll have gotten to drink of the fruit of my knowledge for free.

If you’re interested, go to my calendar below and book a time to tell me a little about your business, your current situation, and the item you’d like reviewed and we’ll take it from there:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

That does it for today’s muscular installment.

Mind ye this hallowed rule:

Let no marketing leave the door WITHOUT a call to action.

Happy Commuting,

Conor Kelly

 

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“With just a few short questions Conor was able to come up with a marketing plan that’s perfectly customized to my goals and my strengths.  He’s very knowledgeable, and has great instincts!”

–Amirali Rahnamoon, Osteopath at IN and OUT Fitness

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Former U.S. Navy nuclear sub commander enjoys record-high engagement

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Got this the other day from former U.S. Naval Officer and leadership author Jon S. Rennie:

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“I gave Conor a tough assignment to help kickstart both my business and personal email campaigns. I was stuck and I needed professional help. He hit a home run with both assignments. He took the time and learned as much as he could about my businesses. His focused messaging with punchy copy was exactly what I needed to bring my engagement levels to record highs. I would strongly recommend Conor!”

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Thank you, Sir.

Jon’s an interesting client.

Having both commanded a nuclear sub, and led multiple manufacturing businesses since leaving The Navy, this delightful cocktail of military and corporate experience lets him distill leadership lessons in a unique and powerful way for any business owner, manager, or exec.  And one thing I can say with conviction is that Jon preaches what he practices.

He lives it.

Also, his book I Have The Watch: Becoming A Leader Worth Following is excellent.  I recommend you get on his email list here. (I don’t currently have any projects with Jon, so there’s no real benefit to me in saying this other than perhaps some good will.  I just think his emails are worth following.  Also, he sends one per week so no need to worry about being bombarded).

Jon sought my help to reengage a lukewarm list.

First, a caveat:

If your list hasn’t heard from you in more than a year or two, or ever, be forewarned that if you attempt to reanimate it, out of the dark of night zombie subscribers will emerge, long dead, lurching at you, and feening for their pound of your living flesh.  Not saying it can’t be done.  Just prepare yourself you may need to navigate a graveyard of high spam complaints and angry replies to get there.

Luckily Jon’s case wasn’t anywhere near that serious.

He’s got a great relationship with his subscribers.

We just needed to:

  1. Reintroduce some consistency – a big key to keeping folks engaged with how fast all forms of marketing and content are flying at us these days and how quickly yours can be forgotten.
  2. Shorten his emails a bit and make them punchier, as Jon says.
  3. Use more variety and contrast (story one day, Q&A the next, list of ‘what not to do’ the one after that, etc.)
  4. Tweak subject lines a bit to get attention – topic for another dispatch.
  5. Do something which is the very first thing I do whenever I take over a new list. If you do this correctly, you almost can’t help but engender a bunch of interest, reaction, replies, and appreciation right off the bat.

I’ve done this in many markets now.

It’s almost always the shot between the eyes your readers need to wake them up…in a good way, and a way they’ll thank you for.  And I’ve never seen this discussed anywhere, in any of the multitude of email marketing trainings I possess in my muscular library.

What is this venerable re-engagement “trick”?

Alas, I save such things for clients only.

But there is a silver lining.

I have a spot open for 1 new client next month.  If we jump on a call next week, and we discover we have a fit to work together, not only will I tell you this trick, but I’ll implement it for you.

Heck of a thing, ain’t it?

Take a look at my calendar and book your Free Brainstorm Call here:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

It’s one small step for you, but it could be one giant leap toward keeping the zombies at bay.

Happy Engaging,

Conor Kelly

Legend of the chronic email under-communicator

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“With a prospect standing before him, would you confine [a salesman] to any certain number of words?  That would be an unthinkable handicap.  So it is in advertising.  The only readers we get are people who our subject interests.  No one reads ads for amusement, long or short.  Give them enough to take action.”  — Claude Hopkins, Scientific Advertising

Let me tell you a quick story about a client I fired last year.

This was not the reason for the firing.

(There were other factors in the decision.)

Anyway, here’s the gist of it:

He was the type who, in the name of not spending a lot of time writing emails (and in his case I think some of it was signaling he’s a big shot who has better things to do), would rarely offer more than short, sometimes one-word responses.

No punctuation, of course.

Perhaps you’ve encountered such a creature?

Ultimately he was shooting himself in the foot because no one could understand what he wanted.  And besides that it usually required multiple follow up emails to get that clarity, when it easily could have been spelled out with that first touch.

Indeed, some of his worst sins of under-communication included:

*Not making clear which project he was talking about

*Responding only partially to emails with multiple questions within them

*Never saying “please” or “thank you”

*Completely not responding to emails, even when you’re unable to move forward without his direction

I remember working with some other contractors and partners of his and them going, “What’s with the cryptic emails”?

Thus, the rub:

Confused people don’t take action.

I’ve often heard this imperative from clients, “It’s good but can we make it shorter?”  The problem with catering to short attention spans is you risk some of your point getting lost in translation.   To the right prospect, your copy can’t be too long, only too boring.

As long as you’re speaking to their self-interest, and sprinkling a bit of drama and contrasting ideas throughout, and entertainment, you want as many words as necessary to make the sale.  Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot to be said for simple and concise language; especially in their inbox where ignoring you is a simple as hitting the delete button.  But don’t let the call to brevity cut off your sales message at the knees.

If you’d like my help with striking the right balance in your sales letters or emails, good news:

I have a spot open for a new client next month.

Ride the information superhighway over here to peep my calendar and schedule a time to talk:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

We can even keep it short.

Just not too short.

Happy Communicating-In-Full,

Conor Kelly

Polite Canadian protests politely

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A while back, one Canuck subscriber wriggled free of the bonds of decorum long enough to question my muscular ways:

“I noticed you go for a lot of US content, popular references, etc. but I’m in Thornhill [an area just North of Toronto].  Wouldn’t it make more sense to segment US vs. Canada so it feels more personal to me?”

Well spotted my warmth-deficient friend.

Here’s what that’s all ‘a-boot’.

Most of my clients and subscribers (about 70%) are US based.

Setting aside that to segment peeps by their IP address would be so highly impractical that it would scarcely be worth the time and aggravation…and the fact that the only folks still left on the planet that don’t understand what a broadcast email is are sequestered in remote tribes in Madagascar…

‘Tis a worthy intention to keep the feel personal.

To that end:

Always write to your main buyer.

Look, most businesses have a variety of buyers, it’s true.  But there usually is one main type of buyer.  And it’s a common mistake to try appeal to your various market segments by using general language.  Yes, you want it to resonate…with your most rabid customers.

They’re the target.

It’s one reason why I do a “customer prototype” with every new client and drill down on how old they are, their level of education, their gender, etc.  If most of the buyers are women, I’ll write in a way women would relate to – even if men buy too.  Or if I know my audience is older, I’ll avoid colloquialisms or popular references that might leave them scratching their heads and slow the momentum of our sales message.

And what if some buyers that don’t fall into this esteemed category?

If they’re otherwise qualified and interested in your offers I can assure you they’re not getting much acid reflux over it.

But thereby your main crowd…

Your lowest hanging fruit…

Your base…

…Is engaged.

There’s a lot more to this, but for now, thus is my muscular answer.

Take it for what it is.

Great news for those of you who have been asking:

I have an opening for a new client next month.  If you’re interested in my help with a website critique, some web copy, or an email campaign, no need to cross the border.  Simply visit this convenient link instead to see my calendar and schedule a time to talk:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

However, you can’t afford to drag your heels on this as I expect that spot to fill up quickly.

Until next time…

Happy Personalizing,

Conor Kelly

Never show a prospect your naked rear end

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There’s a small Catholic Church in Murtosa in Northern Portugal.

What’s interesting about it is it’s the only Catholic Church where it’s acceptable to drop your trousers so everyone can see your naked rear end.  The reason?  The local saint, St. Gonacalo has a reputation for curing hemorrhoids.  All you have to do is show up at the church, show his statue where it hurts, say a prayer and according to the locals, the pain disappears.

Now I’m not saying it doesn’t work.

But it strikes me as being eeeeerily similar to the kind of blind faith many businesses display in their marketing.  Often, their copy is based on uninformed guesses made while drunk on personal projections and everything the owner wants to say vs. what their market needs to hear.

Again, it’s not that it never turns out ok.

Just keep in mind that getting inside your market’s head to a point where it’s downright creepy is much more profitable than playing the marketing version of pin the tail on the donkey, which is what you’d be doing in the first scenario.

If you want my help with your marketing plan for world domination in 2020 (you do have a plan, don’t you?)…or in profitably profiling your prospect…make the neither long nor perilous journey via the link below to be notified when a client spot opens up:

Instantly add yourself to The Muscle’s waiting list.

Best part?

You get to keep your clothes on.

(Although I mostly do consultations over the phone, so really…clothing optional.)

Happy 2020,

Conor Kelly

P.S. I’m so sorry.

I’ve neglected you.  Truth be told, my schedule is almost always full, so I haven’t kept up the muscular writings as well as I should.

No excuses.

And, no more…

I have some new additions to my vaunted “weapons of mass persuasion” planned for 2020 that – if put to acceptable use – will indeed help you grow your sales and profits.  I’m eager to share these with you.  Stay tuned.

I’ll also be letting you in on some things that have been inspiring me lately.

What can I say…

I’m just a really inspirational guy. 😉

2020 – here we come.

Andale!

 

 

A hideously profitable Halloween tip

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Behold:

The Muscle’s House Of Email Horrors…

Inspired by the great Ben Settle, I penned charming Halloween themed emails for each of my clients that exposed several of their market’s “monsters” to being staked, burned or exorcised…with my client cast as the Van Helsing of their industry.

In the health industry you had the ever-present Sugar-Feeding Succubus.

“This seductive creature derails even the most disciplined eater with the constant contribution of cakes, candies, and other sugary menaces to the office environment. Trouble is, as soon as you trap one, another one springs up in its place.”

In the fitness niche,

We featured the terrifying CrossFit Kobold.

“This awful demon is very aggressive and is part of a bizarre cult.  Beware, he uses strange expressions like ‘brah’ and ‘swole’ a lot, so you may not understand him.”

Computers?

We warned of the encroaching Hacking Hellhounds.

“These vicious dogs are dripping with blood and foaming at the mouth, looking for their next victim.  They worm their way into your computer by infecting it with their virus-ridden bite…then they steal or corrupt your data!  No fair!”

Heck, we even dropped “supply chain monsters” on electric utilities across America.

Check out the Phantom Supplier:

“This apparition only looks reliable.  In reality, it’s almost never there when you need it.  It’s called a phantom because when you question it, almost all of its credibility disappears behind a white sheet of excuses.”

Some other faves included…

*The Creature From The Couch Lagoon (Health)

*Fake Virus-Alert Vampire (Computers)

*The Zumba Zombie (Fitness)

*The Misinformation Mummy (Chiropractic)

Two things:

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this is about constantly finding new and engaging ways to get your point across.

Boredom is death to a sale.

Second, while in this case we’re dramatizing and having a little fun, each one of these monsters is a real problem my clients’ respective markets have.  When you’re focused on your prospect’s problems, you can do almost everything else wrong, and you still won’t lose them.  Add to the mix teasing your solution like the reader’s stuffing dollar bills in your g-string…

And you’ve got yourself a recipe for profits that are just plain spooky.

Well, that does it for this particularly creepy foray into the blogosphere.

I’m not currently taking on new clients (all booked up for now).

But if you’d like, click the link below to add your name to The Muscle’s wicked waiting list, and you’ll be one of the first to be notified when ghoulish spot opens up:

Add your name to the list.

Happy Halloween!

Conor “Hellspawn” Kelly

“The internet RUINED my business!”

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Few years ago when I was in the in the Google Ads for attorneys niche, one personal injury attorney opened up during his consultation:

“I was doing a million a year up until 2009.  Then, my business took a major dip.  I’m down 40%, and it’s all because of this internet thing.  Having my picture on the back of the phone book isn’t doing squat for me anymore.”

No big mystery there.

That’s because it’s not 1995.

(Somewhere, a millennial was heard to say, “Tell me more of this phone book you speak of”.)

Believe it or not, in that particular niche I heard this A LOT.  So many competent 45-65 year old lawyers are mystified by Google’s new world order.  They sit around the clubhouse sipping Rob Roy’s and reminisce about the ‘good old days’ before the internet.

Let’s face it…

The times, they are a changing.

These were highly successful professionals whose businesses tanked because they didn’t change with them.

To my point:

If your ads/emails/sales pages aren’t converting like they used to, there’s a reason.  Copy that worked 10 years ago might not have the same appeal today.  Heck, ads that crushed in 2018 might not make the grade in 2020.  In today’s click-baited, hyper-marketed, content-cluttered climate, your prospect is looking for reasons to quickly dismiss your offers.

This is a physiological response.

It’s the brain’s way of filtering out overload.

So if it’s not framed as new or unique in some way…well…

Next.

That’s where Yours Muscularly comes in.

What I do as a copywriter is tirelessly research everything about your product, put in into a stew, and let it boil until what emerges is both true AND fascinating – to paraphrase the original Mad Man and advertising legend David Ogilvie – so your offers get read and (hopefully) acted upon.

Unfortunately, you can’t hire me right now.

I’m all booked up for the next couple of months.

However, if you’d like to be one of the first to be notified when a spot opens up, enter your email at the top right to join my mailing list.

Bottom line, don’t hate the internet.

Instead, when the time comes…

Let’s have a Rob Roy, and chat about how you can use it to grow your business.

Happy Modernizing,

Conor Kelly

Let me show you what my middle finger does

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My soon-to-be 7-year-old the other day…

In reference to her cross-country meet – which took place on a very cold, very wet October day here in Toronto – had this to say:

“It was so freezing yesterday…I kept thinking ‘I’ll show this wind my middle finger!’”

I rather like it.

It’s got a certain wisdom and youthful defiance to it.

(Cue the Twisted Sister, “We’re not gonna take it…”)

So I’ve decided I’m going to show more of the things that challenge me a Muscular middle finger.

I invite you to do the same.

It’s simple advice, but it applies almost anywhere.

(Key word: almost.  Use your own discretion on that one.)

Just a little Tuesday inspiration for ya.

And if you have a sales letter that’s not converting…or your emails aren’t getting as many opens and clicks as you’d like…or you’ve got a copywriter who prefers grandstanding on Facebook to turning in projects on time…

Then let’s join forces and show them four middle fingers, way up:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

Happy Defying,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a The Muscle

Disrupting the copywriting guru hype machine

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Got this note (unsolicited) from top business coach and client Matt Morse in response to a recent ‘copy critique’ I did for him:

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“I recently attended a 3-day ‘copywriting workshop’ with one of the industry leading copywriters… not long after, I had Conor do one of his signature 30-minute copywriting evaluations for one of our clients and I can tell you with absolute certainty that I received more than 10X the amount of value from Conor’s 30-minute video than I did from 3 full days at the copywriting workshop.”

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Here’s why I believe this is NOT an exaggeration.

First, I’ve sat in seminar rooms like this one that were all sizzle and no steak….

And ridden these gurus’ high-priced hype-train to nowhere.

Second, about ten years back I hired a copywriter/web conversions expert to critique my website.  Unless I’m mistaken, I paid him all of $275USD.  And it was honestly some of the best marketing training I’ve ever received.

Many of its lessons have stuck with me ever since.

One theory I have is this sort of critique is not mere theory.  This is someone picking apart and breaking down the specifics of your ad or offer (even your layout and other visual aspects, all things I cover as well), showing you how it can be better, and providing a detailed explanation for why.  In that sense, it’s more concrete and relevant – and thus easier to apply and remember.

Word to the wise:

This is not always true of course, but most courses or products that deign to promise you can walk in with the proverbial “blank page” and walk out with…

*A business

*A product you can sell

*A sales letter

*An email campaign

*A sales presentation

*Etc.

…Ignore the fact that there is a process to any of the above that usually involves more than a day, a weekend, a few fill-in-the-blanks templates, and goes beyond the limits of a group format.

You may not know this but I’m somewhat of a guru-whisperer.

I’m even able to interpret their mysterious speak.

What they really mean when they promise such things is “you’ll have even more work to do on Monday and will most likely STILL be confused about what to do”.

Alright, that’s enough fun for one day.

My decidedly un-hyped offer:

If you’d like me to perform one of my signature Instant Copy Upgrade reviews on your sales letter, website, or email campaign, let us begin the journey by booking your “no fuss” Free Brainstorm Call here:

http://www.calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

You’ll be getting very specific, very detailed secrets I’ve used to help clients like Matt as much as double their web conversions.

Two things:

1. I make no guarantees about this.

I know my stuff.  You’ll see.  But much of this has to do with the dynamics of your market and your offer, none of which is within my control.

AND

2. If you don’t currently have a list…or buyers…or leads coming in…you’ll learn a lot, but it probably won’t help you much in the short term.  The best candidate for this is someone who is already doing marketing, getting traffic of some kind, and has at least some sales.

With that I bid you…

Forsake the guru hype-train.

Ride The Musclemobile instead.

See you on board.

Happy Discerning,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a. The Muscle

“The most engaging marketing email I ever received.”

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A client just forwarded me this reply from one of his subscribers (in response to our latest broadcast email):

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“Hands down, this is the most clever and engaging marketing email that I have ever received. With the concise provision of useful free advice and the great humorous theme, it bespeaks a business that is competent and ready to help.”

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I’ve been trying to tell you…

This stuff ain’t just fake news.

If you do emails the way I teach you’ll get responses like this too.  And before you go “but this wouldn’t work in MY industry”, I’ve done something similar in about 12 different industries now.  This particular client does computer repair.

Now let’s say for the sake of argument he got zero sales from this email.

Even if that were the case, a very small percentage of people ever reply to broadcasts.  That means if this gentleman felt that way, you can bet others liked it too.  There’s enormous marketing capital in that.  It’s a deposit into the “bank balance” of the relationship.

Always remember:

Marketing is a process, not an event.

Just because they didn’t buy today doesn’t mean we should assume they won’t buy later.  In fact, I’d go as far as to say if they haven’t unsubscribed it is your duty as a marketer to follow up, follow up, follow up until they “buy or die”.

You don’t know what’s going on in their life right now.

They could buy in six months.

Two years even.

Funny enough, the same client did a run of similarly “clever and engaging” ads in local movie theaters a while back.  The ads no longer run but new customers still mention them today as their reason for coming in.  All of the above is why it’s risky to spurn this kind of feedback and also a sure fire way to discount your future bank balance.

Bottom line:

Be anything you want to be.

Just be memorable.

Anyway, such are my ravings for today.

If you’d like done-for-you emails that entertain, engage, and sell your product or service, catch a dope cyber wave and surf here to get your no-fuss Free Brainstorm Call:

http://calendly.com/conorkel/emailincome

I’m booking projects for mid-September now.

As a first step, find out if yours is a fit.

Happy Engaging,

Conor Kelly

a.k.a. The Muscle @ Marketing Muscle